PresidentObama

Ted Cruz has been accused of a lot of things: being the Zodiac Killer; being from Canada; being a churlish Sea Monkey that grew out of control in a secret Area 51 lab before escaping into the forest with a family-size bag of Bugles and a sixer of Zima; being the son of a...

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  • April 22, 2021
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So today, Donald Trump called an impromptu press conference in order to swiftly take credit for the rising stock market. After the Dow cleared 30,000 for the first time ever, Trump rushed to gild his own lily-white ass. (I assume he doesn’t spray-tan there, but who knows? I also assumed 70...

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  • November 24, 2020

One thing I’ll never understand until the day I die is how so many people ascribe “toughness” and “manliness” to Donald Trump. (I’ll also never quite get how someone who clearly looks more like an adobe hut than a human being could garner so much support, but hey, one thing...

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  • November 16, 2020

President Obama has weighed in on the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the confirmation battle that’s sure to ensue. Here’s his statement in its entirety: Sixty years ago, Ruth Bader Ginsburg applied to be a Supreme Court clerk. She’d studied at two of our finest law schools and had ringing...

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  • September 19, 2020

I vividly remember Donald Trump’s campaign kickoff speech at Trump Tower on June 16, 2015 — a day which will live in imbecility. I recall that Trump seemed congenitally incapable of telling the truth, rode an escalator as part of what appeared to be some sort of shambolic, improptu comedy bit, and,...

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  • July 30, 2020

The redoubtable Gabe Sherman has another dispatch from the land of cray-cray kookaburras. And in this episode of the Fluorescent Lipo-Fat Golem Show, our intrepid protagonist is heartlessly tossing his most loyal puppies under the sputtering Trump Train. Seems Trump doesn’t think his campaign team is doing a good job of...

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  • May 19, 2020

I’d like to believe that, in a closet or an attic somewhere, there’s a portrait of Donald J. Trump that’s emotionally maturing at a normal human pace, even as the heap of callow adipose sliming the Resolute Desk remains eternally stuck in neutral. Because shit like this is, well, not normal....

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  • May 19, 2020

The day after our last real president said today’s leaders (i.e., Trump) weren’t even “pretending to be in charge,” Trump responded with this: x The level of projection here is just incredible pic.twitter.com/1rzNgKl9Qa— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 17, 2020 < p class=”is-empty-p”> TRUMP: “Look, he was an incompetent president, that’s...

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  • May 17, 2020

People have now discovered that the Obama administration left the Trump administration a detailed pandemic response playbook, so there’s only one thing to do: Release the lying monkeys! Lie, my pretties! Lie! Trump and Kayleigh McEnany are now trying to dismiss the pandemic response plan Obama left for Trump as...

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  • May 14, 2020

Okay, so this is childish: .⁦@parscale⁩ on Obama endorsement of Biden pic.twitter.com/junTANcAYu — Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) April 14, 2020 “Barack Obama spent much of the last five years urging Joe Biden not to run for president out of fear that he would embarrass himself. Now that Biden is the only...

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  • April 14, 2020

Get it? Hare? As in the Easter Bunny? Come on! First, let’s cue up the Paas-hued horror who keeps Cadburying the Oval Office carpet with his vile and voluminous brain droppings: x HAPPY EASTER! pic.twitter.com/UX5Bhm82H2— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 12, 2020 TRUMP: “For Christians all over America this is Holy Week....

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  • April 12, 2020

Donald Trump once said he’d get 95 percent of the black vote when he ran for reelection. I’m thinking no. A new Washington Post-Ipsos poll also tells a completely different story. Go figure: While personally optimistic about their own lives, black Americans today offer a bleaker view about their community as...

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  • January 17, 2020

My lord. Donald Trump would have made Sigmund Freud shart his brains down his breeches. Yes, this was a … slip, of the Freudian variety. But, man, what a slip! And it arrives so soon after a Scottish fen full of “Obama could have been impeached” garble. x Trump on...

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  • October 22, 2019

It’s a metaphysical certitude that either 1) Trump made this up out of whole cloth or 2) James Mattis told him this because Trump wanted to invade Mexico, Puerto Rico, California or somewhere equally as insane. Because I really, really doubt the U.S. military — with a budget of $611 billion...

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  • September 16, 2019

The little man just can’t stand the idea of another president making money. In this case, a former president. Ever since the black man had the temerity to get himself elected president in Fred Trump’s America, Donald Trump has had it in for him. You might say he’s been single...

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  • September 16, 2019

Back when Donald Trump was just a dangerously uninformed civilian instead of a dangerously uninformed pr*sident, he thought negotiating with the Taliban — “our sworn enemy” — was a huge mistake. Now? Let’s invite them to Camp David for “secret” negotiations just prior to 9/11! And then announce on Twitter that...

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  • September 8, 2019

This is simply delicious. People across the nation are furiously signing a petition to rename a portion of Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue — specifically the stretch in front of Trump Tower — President Barack H. Obama Avenue. Organizers plan to send the completed petition to New York Mayor Bill de Blasio and...

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  • August 14, 2019

President Obama just responded on Facebook to the weekend tragedies in El Paso and Dayton. This speaks for itself: Michelle and I grieve with all the families in El Paso and Dayton who endured these latest mass shootings. Even if details are still emerging, there are a few things we...

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  • August 5, 2019

President Obama rarely comments on the puerile antics of Donald J. Trump. Let’s hope that changes when election season gets into full swing and he hits the campaign trail on behalf of our nominee. But for the most part, he’s faithfully observed tradition and held his tongue, despite the dopey...

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  • July 28, 2019

Well, so did Trump, of course, and he’s allegedly president. Apparently, Monica Crowley has a penchant for saying Barack Obama is secretly a Muslim. You know, the usual. Totally normal, folks. Totally, totally normal. CNN: Monica Crowley, who was appointed by Trump last week as assistant treasury secretary for public...

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  • July 25, 2019

You know, if you go back far enough, most people today probably have ancestors who “owned” slaves. Slavery was rampant in the ancient world, after all. But with regard to reparations, here’s what’s important: Some people ***cough, cough, white people*** continue to benefit from the institutional racism that followed slavery and...

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  • July 9, 2019
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