PresidentJoeBiden

I can’t stop watching the MyPillow Guy, Mike Lindell, and his “Frank-a-thon” to launch his stupid new Arby’s dumpster of a website. The guy has been jabbering for the better part of two days. This morning, I tuned in to see him interviewing someone, but I never got the dude’s name because...

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  • April 21, 2021

I’ve never seen so many snowflakes in my life, and I grew up in Wisconsin. It’s still mind-boggling that so many Trumpaloompas thought they could storm the U.S. Capitol, openly engage in a violent insurrection, and then grab some Arby’s on the way home and chill with a box of Fiddle...

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  • April 10, 2021
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I happen to believe that if you send money to Donald Trump you pretty much get what you deserve. If people still haven’t learned from Trump University, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts, Trump Magazine, Trump Airlines, Trump: The Game, and Trump: The Shitty Presidency, then they’ll never...

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  • April 3, 2021

Do these people think they’re going to turn to stone if they tell the plain truth about the 2020 election? Republicans these days act as if the Eye of Sauron is always looking, looking, looking, and if they dare mention Donald Trump’s name in vain, the Mar-a-Lago Nazgul will be...

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  • March 19, 2021

After Joe Biden’s speech to the nation last week, conservatives were their usual snowflakey selves, wondering where all the plaudits for Donald Trump’s maladministration were. To be fair, Trump did launch Operation Warp Speed. Or, rather, his administration launched it … and came up with a cool nickname. That said, the...

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  • March 14, 2021

You have to hand it to MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell. When life hands him lemons, he eats them so fast they become deadly choking hazards. His latest nonsense? He’s launching a new social media platform to compete with YouTube and Twitter, which for some reason no longer allow videos and...

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  • March 13, 2021

Twitter’s decision to cancel Donald Trump, Insurrectionist was a boon to the nation’s mental health. I don’t have any metrics to back that statement up, of course, but then I’m not telling anyone to inject bleach or shove any light bulbs up my arse. (By the way, my mother-in-law was...

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  • March 12, 2021

If you’re a Republican and you don’t at least try to pretend the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump, you’re likely to be castigated—and maybe even censured—by a phalanx of zombie dead-enders in your own party. It’s a problem for Republicans who know better—and I can only assume Donald...

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  • February 21, 2021

This is just a knee-jerk answer, right? “I know you are but what am I” is what we used to say on the playground when we were called dorkwads or dinguses or what have you. I’ve been rolling it around in my wee, breezy head for a couple of minutes,...

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  • February 16, 2021

If you had any doubt that the Trump presidency was just an elaborate four-year grift, this story should dispel your quaint Pollyannish notions. Because their brains are the functional equivalent of an ‘80s-era Texas Instruments calculator that has not yet learned how to spell “boobs,” the world’s daffiest fucks (aka Trump’s most ardent...

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  • February 7, 2021

I get it. The media have a job to do. And for the first time in four years, the government doesn’t have a cabinet-level Department of Gaslighting. But this is a question this reporter already knows the answer to, right?  Right?

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  • February 5, 2021

I haven’t watched this whole thing. I might some day, when I’m done with all of Kirk Cameron’s Crocoduck videos. Or maybe 20 years from now when I have to prove to myself that the so-called Trump era wasn’t just a regrettable consequence of languidly tongue-bathing psychedelic toads like Lik-M-Aid at...

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  • February 5, 2021

This may be nothing more than a clever trolling exercise, but I’m curious to see what becomes of it. x .@williamlegate and I are going to prove that progressives can make a better pillow, run a better business and help make the world a better place while doing it.— David Hogg...

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  • February 4, 2021

Justice? Did someone say there’s still some justice in the world? I was really starting to wonder. The New York Times: Rupert Murdoch’s Fox Corporation and three of its popular anchors are the targets of a $2.7 billion defamation lawsuit filed on Thursday by a company that became a prominent...

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  • February 4, 2021

Even in exile* Donald Trump can’t stop fucking up and embarrassing the shit out of us. Whoever’s on deck this week to defend Trump in his impeachment trial (it’s either Barry Zuckerkorn or Lionel Hutz; I forget which) is so sharp, they can’t quite spell the name of the country Trump was...

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  • February 2, 2021

It still floors me that the federal government and law enforcement authorities weren’t ready for the Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection. I mean, anyone hanging out at Parler for five minutes could have told you that some real, potentially fatal trouble was brewing. They weren’t exactly hiding their intentions. They might as well...

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  • January 30, 2021

Trumpies put their feet in their mouths on the regular (or should, anyway; I suppose doing so actually requires some measure of self-reflection and shame), but they’ve rarely promised to literally eat their own shoes. But one did. And he’s backing away from his promise. Because why would they change...

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  • January 28, 2021

During the 2012 election cycle I had a lot of fun with Mitt Romney before he eventually lost his presidential bid, strapped his dog to the roof of his car, and rode off into the sunset. I never hated Mitt. He just seemed kind of feckless, what with his binders full...

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  • January 28, 2021

Judging by the reaction on social media, you either love the ubiquitous Bernie mittens memes or you hate them. Personally, I find them charming—and they’ve been a welcome distraction from the 500-pound gorilla that’s, well, no longer in the room. But this whimsical inauguration day highlight is also doing a lot...

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  • January 27, 2021

I’m not sure what happened to Rudy Giuliani. I never liked him all that much to begin with, but once upon a time he seemed marginally sane. I don’t know if someone fed him after midnight or if the Furby chip in his head is overdue for replacement or what, but...

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  • January 27, 2021

Americans’ appetite for pusillanimous silver-spoon ninnies being as insatiable as it is, Tucker Carlson’s Fox News show is surprisingly highly rated. In fact, back in October, it actually bested The Masked Singer, a Fox television network show that I’ve never seen but which I can only assume was created as...

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  • January 26, 2021

Remember Mellissa Carone? Of course you do. She’s the crucial election witness who was so unhinged that Rudy Giuliani—who on a good day makes marginally less sense than a paint fumes hallucination—attempted to shush her while she spun her cray-cray stolen-election theories. Many people thought she was drunk. When I...

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  • January 26, 2021

Mr. Naiveté is here to tell you he thought maybe, just maybe, the very people who suffered the brunt of Donald Trump’s bumblefuck putsch might stand firm in their revulsion. But of course they didn’t. The taste of spray-tan and pocky buttocks is simply too tantalizing for most Republicans to resist, and...

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  • January 23, 2021

I guess when your entire shtick is based on fantasy and lies, the people you lied to get upset when you fail to overturn your election loss by ordering Space Force to beam Joe Biden off the inaugural dais at the Zero Hour. Now the Proud Boys of all groups...

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  • January 20, 2021

He Who Shall Not Be Named (aka Chester Cheat-oh, aka the Abominable Showman, aka Fuckface McFuckington) now feels compelled to punish everyone, including the phalanx of toadies (aka the Republican Party) who failed to bend abjectly to his will in his final days. The Wall Street Journal: President [He Who...

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  • January 20, 2021

Donald Trump is no longer president. Next stop, perdition … x x YouTube Video And now … forward! x x YouTube Video x x YouTube Video x x YouTube Video THANK YOU, President Biden and Vice President Harris! So how are you all feeling? Let’s celebrate! This guy is a natural....

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  • January 20, 2021