Mike Pence sold his soul long ago, and now, at the very least, Karen Pence has pawned hers. Now, before you read this tweet, recall that Trump used to brag about going backstage at the Miss USA Pageant to gawk at the young women. That he once passed a young, prepubescent girl on an escalator…
Category: MikePence
Did Trump shiv Pence during his low-energy speech today?
It looks like we need to put Donald Trump in cryogenic freeze until science finds a cure for very, very low energy. Today, Trump came down from the prospectin’ camp what’s a spell up the mountain by the crick near the big rock next to Farmer Olsen’s hunner’-year-old oak tree to ramble incoherently about this and that and…
Watch fierce Greta Thunberg shoot poison eye daggers at Trump and Pence
Can we get #GretaGlare trending? This girl is fierce, yo. x This is like a clip from a special episode of The Office where everyone dies from climate change pic.twitter.com/Q0aAxXmrDn — James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 23, 2019 Best GIF evah! Truth to power, Greta. You inspire us all. Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic:…
LOL. American Pharoah Knows a Bucket of Oats When He Sees It, Pence Says Triple Crown Winner Bit Him
Vice *Resident Mike Pence was down in Kentucky doing a little politicin’ and decided to do a photo-op with Triple Crown winner American Pharoah. That was his first mistake. USA Today “American Pharoah has it all these days. By becoming the first Triple Crown winner in 37 years in 2015, the horse secured a life…
Pence and Bolton thought meeting Taliban over 9/11 anniversary was idiotic; Trump overruled them
Well, to be fair, anyone or anything with a functioning brain stem would have known that inviting the Taliban to Camp David as the nation gets ready to commemorate 9/11 is a jaw-droppingly stupid idea. But Trump is Trump, and he knows best. From Javi Morgado, the executive producer of CNN’s New Day: Breaking news:…
Doonbeg residents give Mike Pence a rousing Irish hello
What? Crypto-fascist wannabe theocrats aren’t as popular in Europe as the U.S.? x Mike Pence expected to arrive in Doonbeg shortly. Hopefully gardai can manage the large crowds. pic.twitter.com/2eIQG5FGFC — Ian Begley (@IanBegley_) September 3, 2019 Is that the saddest thing you’ve ever seen, or what? Mike Pence said he wanted to travel to Doonbeg…
FAIL: Nikki Haley's blatant power grab didn't go over well in Trump's orbit
Not counting his die hard dead-enders, everyone can see that Donald Trump is in big reelection trouble. The one thing keeping Trump afloat—the economy he inherited from President Obama—has been sabotaged with Trump’s own reckless trade wars and his trillion dollar deficits. Meanwhile, Trump’s obvious mental deterioration has just made his erratic behavior even more bizarre. Trump’s own polling has…
Trump offers condolences like an alien reptile-man would
WTF is this, Kodos? x Highest Condolences! Thank you V.P. https://t.co/abydDSlDBw — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 24, 2019 Highest condolences from the Supreme Regent of Altair IV to the symbiotic podmates of the fallen Earthli … er, brave American soldiers! He is so, so, so, so, so, so, sooooooo fucking bad at this. Does this have…
Watch Mike Pence's spine dissolve in real time as he tries to defend Trump's racism
I love my wife, but I’d never be this milquetoast-y in my defense of her. And she really is the least racist person you’ll ever meet. Hoo-boy! This video is something else. Have you ever watched clear, unflavored Jell-O being microwaved? Well, now’s your chance: x Profiles in Courage from Mike Pence on racist chants at the…
Watch Trump insist detention centers are humane while video of inhumane conditions runs
Your daily dose of Orwell: x this is fucking incredible side by side pic.twitter.com/ocQP9ADytS — Adam Parkhomenko (@AdamParkhomenko) July 13, 2019 And here’s the transcript of Trump’s remarks, straight from Whitehouse.gov. (Careful, if you click on that site you’ll see some truly disgusting shit you may never fully recover from. You might want to Google “coprophilia”…
Multiple Messages Being Sent By Trump And Republicans With Pence Visit to Border Facility.
I see the MSNBC segment on Pence’s visit to a border facility, and my first reaction is, “Why the hell would anyone want to allow this to be released to the public?” Then, I took a look at Pence’s, Graham’s, and Senator Lee’s body language, and I think I understand what they are up to. …
Many people are saying Trump choked to death on a hot dog yesterday
Ever since God — or someone; who knows? — called Mike Pence home when he was supposed to be flying to New Hampshire to give a talk on opioids yesterday, speculation has run rampant about what really happened. And, yes, I know that lede has a double meaning — making it sound like Pence was scheduled…
Trump says he may build his presidential library on one of his own properties
Because why should he stop grifting us all just because he’s out office? I didn’t watch the entire Donald Trump/Chuck Todd interview because I’d scheduled a colonoscopy. I wasn’t due for one, but it seemed preferable to watching this, and the horse vet was able to squeeze me in at the last minute. So to speak….
Jake Tapper laughs in Pence's face: 'We don't have the cleanest air and water in the world'
On CNN this morning, Mike Pence tried to summon as much gravitas as he could — veering dangerously close to the event horizon of fatally constipated — in order to sell a few of those common-sense homespun lies that play so well in the heartland. He sounded like an ass — but, significantly, not a…
Mayor Pete – a thought exercise
This will be brief. It is NOT an endorsement of any kind. It is merely a “what of” — imagining a possibility. It is provoked in part by watching Mayor Pete over the last few weeks. It is also provoked in part by now having read about ½ of his book,Shortest Way Home (which I…
Trump says his faith helped him survive Mueller probe. No, seriously
Get ready to vomit up a lifetime supply of Nilla Wafers. Politico: President Donald Trump said Thursday he leaned on one thing to get through special counsel Robert Mueller's probe of Russian interference in the 2016 election: his faith. “People say, ‘How do you get through that whole stuff? How do you go through those…
Adam Schiff: For Trump's GOP, collusion is 'just good politics'
The more the public considers and digests the Mueller report, the worse Donald Trump and his gang of merry dickheads look. But the only lesson Republicans seem to have learned is “keep pointing fingers and braying like asses.” But Adam Schiff brooks no nonsense. The House Intelligence Committee chair rightly refuses to back down on…
Sayonara, Mike Pence?
”Don’t you recognize me?” “Ummm, gimme a hint.” “I’m your WIFE, dumbass!” Ash vs Evil Dead You know, even in the current more progressive, affluent, and permissive age we live in today, most people still tend to take marriage pretty seriously. Not only because of the emotional trauma it can cause, but because of the…
Oh, wow. This is a wonderful idea, and it would drive Trump nuts
Whatever you think of professional Trump gadfly (and Trump-Russia researcher) Seth Abramson, this is brilliant: x My 2019 would be officially made if one of the Democratic candidates spent their whole primary campaign campaigning against Mike Pence on the assumption Trump will not be in office in November 2020 It would be the ultimate troll,…
Pence Equates MLK's “Promises of democracy” to Trump's Campaign Bile. Even He Ain't That Stupid.
So Mike Pence went on Face The Nation this morning and compared Trump’d hateful campaign boilerplate about building a wall to MLK’s stirring oratory challenging this nation to fulfill Jefferson’s promissory note that “all men are created equal.” x Pence quotes from Martin Luther King Jr.'s “I Have A Dream” speech to argue for Trump's latest pitch…
Trump is trapped. And he locked the entire GOP in with him.
We are all just prisoners here, of our own device Hotel California The Eagles It’s a classic axiom, “Like a rat caught in a maze.” It’s a scary mental image, running blindly from corridor to corridor, bumping into dead ends, ceaselessly doubling back, desperately looking for an exit that doesn’t exist. Metaphorically, it normally means…
First openly bisexual senator takes oath with hand on law book as Mike Pence looks on in horror
How can you tell when Mike Pence looks ashen? Does his complexion change 10,000 shades of white, all the way from ecru to ivory to eggshell to scared-shitless-Mike-Pence*? Regardless, he sure doesn’t look comfortable here as he swears in a bisexual woman who’s opted to take her oath with her hand on a law book….
Mike Pence gives a World AIDS Day speech … without mentioning gay people
To begin with, asking Mike Pence to give a World AIDS Day speech is a joke. You might as well ask him to host the Tonys dressed as Divine from Pink Flamingos. It just doesn’t work. No one in the universe is that good at feigning compassion. Also, you just knew he was going to be a dick…
Mike Pence's wife campaigns for nutty GOP candidate who thinks homosexuality should be illegal
Views on homosexuality differ widely in this country, but the percentage of Americans who think same-sex relations should be flat-out illegal is small and dropping precipitously. Frankly, it’s absurd that anyone thinks sex between consenting adults — no matter what form it takes — should be illegal. In many cases it should be videotaped and immediately FedEx’d…
Holy sh*t! Did Pence write that explosive NYT editorial on Trump's off-the-rails presidency?
Holy albino ballsack, brother. Mike Pence is a weaselly little turd, but could he have actually written that jaw-dropping New York Times editorial blasting Trump for being an off-the-rails crazy fuck who needs to be babysat 24/7? Well, speculation is running wild because of one little tell. And it’s an odd one: Lodestar Check this out:…
Schumer: Kavanaugh would likely overturn Roe v. Wade
For some reason I woke up this morning feeling better about the future of America. If Trump is impeached and convicted, Mike Pence becomes president. And since Pence has decided to live his life as an intestinal fluke subsisting solely on Trump’s half-digested Hot Pockets and putrefying viscera, he isn’t likely to live long without his…
HuffPo Writer (Jim Moore) Gets Pence Commencement Protest Entirely Wrong
Jim Moore, writing at the Huffington Post, chastises the Notre Dame graduating students who turned their backs and walked out as VP Mike Pence began his commencement address: No point was served by walking out on the vice president, other than to demonstrate the students’ shallow intolerance of someone with whom they disagreed. I feel…