MichaelCohen

If you’re like me, you were continually frustrated by Donald Trump’s baffling ability to avoid real consequences for his serial perfidy over the past four (erm, 74) years, and you responded to this outrage by curling up into the fetal position, crawling into a giant bag of Kirkland Signature Rice...

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  • March 18, 2021

Michael Cohen, Donald Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, knows the Trump crime family better than almost anyone. And, needless to say, he’s no longer impressed. After discussing his unlikely friendship with Rosie O’Donnell, who visited him in prison, Cohen told MSNBC’s Ari Melber he believes either Trump or a member of...

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  • November 11, 2020

It doesn’t take preternatural insight to see Donald Trump isn’t a religious guy. “Two Corinthians” was a big tip-off, as is the fact that he’s the apotheosis of the Seven Deadly Sins — greed, sloth, envy, pride, daughter lust, fried-chicken-skin hoovering, and looking like an irregular, overfertilized squash. (I think that’s...

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  • September 29, 2020

Remember when Donald Trump was “Individual 1”?  Those were the days — before he became “President Tens of Thousands of Unnecessary Deaths.” Well, it turns out Trump really is a businessman. He can do a cost-benefit analysis like a champ — so long as it relates to hiding porn-star sex from...

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  • September 7, 2020

I’m going to have to start taking full-on Silkwood showers after reading the news. I have a feeling, in retrospect, the Trump era will feel a bit like stepping in dog shit. It will take a while to completely scrape his residue off our shoes, and even then our country...

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  • September 6, 2020

Because he’s the angel of death, Donald Trump is pressuring schools to reopen in the face of the glowing Skeletor skull that is coronavirus. Just yesterday, Betsy DeVos, the administration’s education something-something, told Fox News’ Tucker Carlson that the administration is “very seriously” looking at withholding federal funds from schools that...

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  • July 9, 2020

Trump’s ex-lawyer has not been shiftless while hiding his light under a gray-bar bushel.   Donald Trump’s former lawyer, Michael Cohen, has spent his time behind bars writing a potentially explosive tell-all book about life with the president, reports say. Three people familiar with the project told The Daily Beast that Cohen – who is...

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  • April 28, 2020

We all know that Trump’s big defense for his latest open corruption — i.e., that he’s actually trying to stop corruption — is laughable on its face. I mean, it’s a little like Carrot Top criticizing Gallagher for filling a weary world with bad prop comedy. But it’s worth reflecting...

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  • October 5, 2019

Yes, I do realize that pointing out one more Donald Trump crime-’n’-lie is like posting a notification on Twitter every time you have to go to the bathroom. I mean, it’s just a given, right? But for what it’s worth, yeah, Trump appears to have skirted the law once again. I’ll let HuffPost White House...

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  • August 21, 2019

people might well be interested in reading a Twitter thread by one @Zeddy on Trump Tower, starting with this tweet: x On the subject of #CrimeInfested. A thread. Paul Manafort, former Trump campaign chairman, owned and lived in a condo on 43rd floor of Trump Tower. Currently in prison for...

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  • July 28, 2019

Granted, “Donald Trump lies” is breaking news in the same way that “Drunk Packers fan still confused about Higgs boson*” is breaking news, but this particular lie is pretty memorable (or should be, anyway) and egregious: x NEW: Pres. Trump tells reporters he did not know about $130,000 payment to Stormy...

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  • July 18, 2019

I wrote in an article yesterday about his pathetic one man dog-and-pony show that I had gone on an Official Acosta Resignation (or Termination) Watch. Nothing in the resulting fallout has made me change my mind, but I’ve fine tuned it a little bit. If there’s one thing that a broken...

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  • July 11, 2019

Well, it looks like Michael plans a long visit to the House Intel Committee Hearing… x Michael Cohen is back on the Hill today for his return appearance before the House Intel Committee. Note what appear to be a good number of records he is wheeling in pic.twitter.com/19ZBXtO5Sb — Morgan...

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  • March 6, 2019

Hoo-boy. Cue the McRib sauce spittle and/or barking-mad tweetering. In a recent interview with The New Yorker, the GOP’s bête noire du jour, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, called out Donald Trump in a big way. Boom! Ocasio-Cortez says that she has tried to keep her focus partly by avoiding watching Trump on television:...

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  • March 5, 2019

Somehow I picture Democrats getting fresh documents from the White House and smelling each sheet like we did in grade school when they handed out mimeographed tests. (I realize that’s a really old reference. If I start sounding too much like Paul Harvey, please let me know. I’ll throw a few...

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  • March 3, 2019

Saturday Night Live had some fun with the Cohen hearing last night and so will you: (Closed Captioned) x x YouTube Video It started with Kenan Thompson playing  Representative Elijah E. Cummings of Maryland, who quipped, “For any other president, this hearing would be the most damning and humiliating moment of...

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  • March 3, 2019

Hey, what smells in here? Stick a pin in this week. In years to come, when we look back on the sad and sordid history of the Trump Presidency, this will be the week when we realize that the whole damn thing started to come apart at the seams. And...

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  • March 2, 2019

On Thursday, Michael Cohen’s lawyer Lanny Davis told MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow that Cohen had given the House Intelligence Committee “game-changing” information about Donald Trump and his gooey web of lies. Last night, Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell, a member of the Intelligence Committee, appeared on Maddow’s show to corroborate that statement....

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  • March 2, 2019

Sean Hannity long ago ceded his soul to Donald Trump in exchange for access and an eternity spent as Satan’s go-to ass loofah. But now it looks like his pusillanimity may actually cause him trouble in this earthly realm. In an interview with DJT last night, Hannity was eager to...

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  • March 1, 2019

As part of the ongoing project to catalog every awful thing the Trump Administration has done as a reference for future political arguments and whatever few posterity survives to see 2020, here’s everything awful the Trump Administration has done this week. ____________________________________________________________________________ 1262. It was reported that US farm exports...

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  • February 28, 2019

Didn’t Michael Cohen just say Trump thinks his son has the worst judgment in the world? Guess he’s right. So yesterday, Junior retweeted this: x Incredible to see all the hubris drained from Cohen. I've been personally screamed at by Cohen on the phone before and know how much bravado...

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  • February 28, 2019

Michael Cohen’s testimony today was by no means good for Donald Trump, even if Cohen claims he never went to Prague. In fact, based on what Cohen told the committee, he’s committed at least five felonies, according to conservative columnist and frequent Trump critic Max Boot. They are: 1. Conspiracy to defraud...

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  • February 28, 2019

The Republicans’ line of questioning during this hearing seems to be singularly focused on demonstrating that Michael Cohen is a total sleaze, liar, and fraud. He worked for Donald Trump for 10 years. We’re supposed to believe all this sleaze was conducted only on his own behalf, and never to...

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  • February 27, 2019

Politico has snagged a copy of tomorrow’s Michael Cohen testimony. Here’s just a taste: I am ashamed of my weakness and misplaced loyalty – of the things I did for Mr. Trump in an effort to protect and promote him. I am ashamed that I chose to take part in...

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  • February 27, 2019

No wonder Trump acted like a trapped raccoon when he heard the feds had raided Michael Cohen’s office. According to a recent New York Times report, Michael Cohen, Donald Trump’s former fixer, met with federal prosecutors last month to discuss “irregularities” within the Trump family business. He also discussed a donor...

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  • February 22, 2019

Michael Cohen is ready to talk. About Russia. Da. While he’s tried to put off his testimony to the House Oversight Committee because he’s afraid of the Trump mafia, he seems more than willing to give testimony to the House and Senate Intelligence Committees, with the proviso that said testimony will be...

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  • January 30, 2019

Well, I guess this wasn’t exactly unexpected. x Witness, tampered. https://t.co/YTjIV63V2W — Brian Beutler (@brianbeutler) January 23, 2019 Blatant lawlessness continues. How long must we endure this? ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………… To receive articles of mine not published elsewhere become a patron on Patreon. Please follow me on Twitter @durrati [cross-posted to PolitiZoom]

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  • January 23, 2019

Rudy appeared today on CNN’s State of the Union and spouted a bunch of gobbledygook framed by two classic examples of temporizing…. opening with “As far as I know”…. x Rudy Giuliani: “As far as I know, President Trump did not have discussions … in which he told (Michael Cohen) or...

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  • January 20, 2019

As part of the ongoing project to catalog every awful thing the Trump Administration has done as a reference for future political arguments and whatever few posterity survives to see 2020, here’s everything awful the Trump Administration has done this week. ____________________________________________________________________________ 1199. Implemented a confused and inconsistent withdrawal from Syria 1200. Considered redirecting...

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  • January 18, 2019

In the wake of McClatchy’s bombshell story about Michael Cohen’s cell phone being used near Prague in the summer of 2016, Cohen himself categorically denied — three times via Twitter — that he’d ever been to the Czech Republic. I hear #Prague #CzechRepublic is beautiful in the summertime. I wouldn’t know...

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  • December 28, 2018

He’s denying it but…. lets have some fun anyway…. Cohen In Prague x And then, Michael Cohen used his cellphone in Prague to book an Uber to pay cash for the Russians who hacked the election. #TrumpRussia #MichaelCohen pic.twitter.com/gFlpZrrL3z — Power VO (@PowerVoiceOver) December 27, 2018 x ANYONE ASKS YOU...

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  • December 28, 2018

Long, long ago — in the before-times — a married politician’s payoffs to two women to hide sordid affairs from the voting public would have been a kill-shot.  Today, it’s known as “Trump being Trump.” CNN could show footage of Trump storing dead prostitutes in a giant warehouse like in the final...

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  • December 15, 2018

Now I know for sure that I’m getting up there in years, because I find myself ore and more pining for “the good old days.” A kinder, simpler time, when everything was well defined, and things were black and white. You know, like 2017? Donald Trump beat the odds, and...

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  • December 15, 2018

Ruh-roh. Crooked Donny may have stepped in another fragrant, steaming pile of wrongdoing. And — what fun! — it’s Michael Cohen related! From The Hill: Federal prosecutors in Manhattan are looking into whether President Trump's inaugural committee misspent funds or accepted donations in exchange for access to the administration, The Wall Street...

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  • December 13, 2018

Rep. Adam Schiff, the likely future chair of the House Intelligence Committee, appeared on Face the Nation this morning. And while he’s clearly a partisan observer, he thinks Donald Trump might actually — gasp! — spend some time in prison. [democracy id=”5″] Asked about the filings federal prosecutors made on Friday...

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  • December 9, 2018

Yes, you read that right. On Friday, Sen. Richard Blumenthal called Donald Trump an “unindicted co-conspirator” (which he is) during an interview with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews: “Prosecutors in the Southern District of New York, independent of the special counsel investigation, believe that Donald Trump committed a felony that enabled him...

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  • December 8, 2018

Is “political synergy” just a fancy term for collusion? The revelations are coming fast and furious this TGI Friday, but this seems particularly significant:   x Must-read: Mueller's office lays out the Michael Cohen's “received the contact information for, and spoke with, a Russian national who claimed to be a...

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  • December 7, 2018

I’m still laughing. You know, I thought that the G20 meeting was supposed to be a serious matter, between serious world leaders. That swing-your-arm-back-a-foot, loud slap, thumb grab handshake between the two international pariahs, Putin and MBS that I was yesterday was the most juvenile display in the history of...

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  • December 1, 2018

Well, the orange gasbag ain’t gonna like this…. (forgive the byline) NY Times “Michael D. Cohen, President Trump’s former personal lawyer who has twice pleaded guilty to crimes that have implicated Mr. Trump in illegal or questionable conduct, asked a federal judge late Friday night that he be allowed to...

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  • December 1, 2018

Breaking from CNN: Michael Cohen, the former personal attorney for President Donald Trump who is now a key witness in special counsel Robert Mueller's Russia investigation, was under the impression Trump would offer him a pardon in exchange for staying on message in support of the President in discussions with...

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  • December 1, 2018

Tricking Donald Trump into lying is not exactly sporting. It’s sort of like hunting manatees with an Uzi and a stick of dynamite. But Robert Mueller has a job to do, and it looks like he may have just done it. The redoubtable Gabriel Sherman at Vanity Fair has given...

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  • November 30, 2018

Drip, drip, drip. Oh, a gusher! Big news this morning involving the underling Trump repeatedly bullied over the past 12 years. (Hey, Melania, if you want kids to stop bullying each other, here’s a great cautionary tale.) Yes, the walls are starting to close in with the revelation that Michael Cohen...

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  • November 29, 2018

No Russians. No Collusion.   No Russians. No Collusion.   No Russians. No Collusion. Since the day that Robert Mueller was appointed, this has been the Tantric meditative chant for Trump and his nitwit cabal. Geico used to run ads with the catch phrase, “So simple, even a caveman can...

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  • August 24, 2018

When it comes to Michael Cohen's guilty plea in federal court the day before yesterday, let's ignore Donald Trump for just a moment. There will be plenty of time to talk about The Tangerine Tantrum Machine, but I got my greatest case of the warm-and-fuzzies from a different source. And...

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  • August 23, 2018

And BOOM goes the dynamite. More horrible, horrible, horrible #fakenews for our pr*sident. Another one of his old chums has tossed him under the trolley. x PER @WSJ : David Pecker, the chairman of AMI, which publishes the @NatEnquirer , provided prosecutors with details about payments Mr. Cohen arranged with...

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  • August 23, 2018

The bad news has come so fast and furious for Donald Trump in the past couple of hours, you could write an entire “We Didn’t Start the Fire” parody based on just what’s happened today.  This is like police-carting-bodies-out-of-Jeff-Dahmer’s-apartment kind of stuff — that is, if two of those bodies had...

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  • August 21, 2018

Did any of you guys have a younger brother when you were growing up, or you ladies a younger sister? You’d be hanging with your friends, trying to be all cool and shit, and they’d be bouncing around like a neutrino, yapping like a Yorkshire terrier, and ruining all of...

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  • July 29, 2018

I swear to God. If I ever get busted for shoplifting, and Rudy Droolingonmi is my court appointed defense attorney, I'm pleading guilty at the arraignment, and begging for the death penalty, rather than have to sit there and watch him bury me live in court. I think that Trump...

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  • July 28, 2018

OK, I’ll admit it, I’m a dumbass. But, be that as it may, I just don’t get it. Don’t get me wrong, There’s nothing I love more than hearing Trump on tape, sounding like an even bigger dumbass than I am when he asks “What payment?” to Michael Cohen, forcing...

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  • July 27, 2018

CNN obtained the Trump-Cohen tape, and it clearly indicates a discussion between Donald Trump and Michael Cohen regarding arrangements for a payoff so that a story about Karen McDougal’s extramarital affair would not become public knowledge prior to the November 2016 presidential election, in which Trump won an electoral college...

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  • July 25, 2018
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