Apparently, Donald Trump Jr. has the self-awareness of a sea pineapple’s sphincter. (Do sea pineapples have sphincters? I’ll just say they do, because it’s 2019, and you can say whatever you want now, apparently. Go ahead, fake news. Fact-check me. I dare you.) So the walking, talking conflict of interest whose father has spent the past…
Category: DonaldTrumpJr
Mnuchin says doing business with foreigners is okay for Trump's family, but not Biden's
Steve Mental Munchkin was on State of the Union with Jake Tapper this morning when, out of nowhere, the feculent fumes of rank hypocrisy suddenly filled the studio. Attempting to defend Trump’s clearly impeachable attempt to strong-arm Ukraine’s president into investigating Joe Biden, Mnuchin swallowed hard and proceeded to tie himself into a series of soft, salty pretzels….
KY-Gov: Mother Jones, “He’s Scott Walker’s politics with Paul LePage’s mouth.”
Mother Jones has a pretty brutal piece about Governor Matt Bevin (R. KY) why being a complete asshole might cost him re-election despite being the Governor of a deep red state: For Bevin, winning a second term should be a breeze. He’s running in a state Trump won by 30 percent. Trump still gets high…
Check out this very, very sad turnout at Donald Trump Jr. event in Kentucky
Please clap … Ryland Barton is a statehouse reporter for Kentucky Public Radio, and he’s got the scoop from today’s “Puppet Show and Donald Trump Jr.” event in Pikeville, Kentucky: x Organizers have asked the audience to move out of the seats and closer to the stage ahead of Trump Jr/ Gov. Bevin event in Pikeville.I think it's…
We need to get rid of Cyrus Vance Jr.
I don’t care that he is a Democrat. Being District Attorney of New York County (what the island of Manhattan is called as a county — as a borough of NYC it is Manhattan) is to hold a safely Democratic seat. I don’t care that this DA had a distinguished father. All I need to…
Trump throws Don Jr. and Eric under the bus
Who wouldn’t Donald Trump throw under the bus? He just pointed two grubby little index fingers at his sons. Would he turn Melania over to ICE? Would he cut Barron open like a tauntaun if the furnace in the White House temporarily shut down? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS?!?!?!?!?!? When asked today about undocumented workers at…
Eric Trump apparently thinks Obama was president in 2008
Hoo-boy, the Trump kids are doing their level best to embarrass themselves the past few days. Yesterday, a video of Ivanka Trump attempting to speak authoritatively about something other than handbags went viral. And now Eric Trump is tweeting nonsense. Care to go for the trifecta, Don Jr.? Or maybe Tiffany wants to get in a…
Justin Amash scorches Don Jr., bakes his ashes into a scone, and eats it with a dollop of marmalade
I’m not one to speak well of a Republican — particularly a Tea Party Republican — but Rep. Justin Amash at least knows how to read a report and draw some glaringly obvious conclusions. And because he has a talent for reading comprehension that’s exceedingly rare among his brethren, Republicans have gone ape-shit over his calls…
Like father, like sons: Eric and Don Jr. reportedly skipped out on Irish pub bill
During their recent trip overseas, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. actually managed to find a small patch of land where they were welcome. According to The Irish Post, the two drew praise from at least one Irish pub owner, Caroline Kennedy (no, not that one), who described American Psycho and his sidekick, Beavis, as “lovely and…
The lid is off of the can
I used to have a favorite pet phrase when I was raising my kids. They’d do something goofy,and I’d tell friends, “You buy ‘em shoes, you dress ‘em up nice, you give ‘em breakfast, you send ‘em out the door, and wadda they do? They eat the covers off of the frigging books! What can…
Vanity Fair: Trump's polling is 'very bad'; 'they're going to have a big problem with female voters'
The redoubtable Gabriel Sherman posted another of his patented White House colonoscopy vids at Vanity Fair today. He reiterates the new conventional wisdom — expressed in two bombshell stories from The New York Times and Washington Post in the past 24 hours — that when it comes to the Mueller report, Trump & Co. spiked the ball…
Donald Trump Jr. retweets a tweet saying Cohen had no reason to lie
Didn’t Michael Cohen just say Trump thinks his son has the worst judgment in the world? Guess he’s right. So yesterday, Junior retweeted this: x Incredible to see all the hubris drained from Cohen. I've been personally screamed at by Cohen on the phone before and know how much bravado he once had. This is…
The answer is really quite simple.
Q: What do Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr, Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, Jerome Corsi, and Roger stone all have in common? I mean besides the fact that they’re all major, world class assholes, of course. That one was too obvious. A: They just don’t get it. No, seriously, I mean that…
Trump Jr. says his dad regifted a monogrammed Christmas present he'd given him the year before
This is horrifying, and it almost makes me feel sorry for Jr. But not quite. From The Washington Post: The president’s penchant for regifting monogrammed goods was revealed during a red-carpet interview with “Extra” at a Tuesday night party hosted by the Daily Mail in New York. When Donald Trump Jr. was asked to name…
'Deep anxiety' setting in at White House: 'The walls are closing in'
Donald Trump has been extraordinarily petulant the past several days. Sure, even on a good day the guy is basically a spastic colon getting a Sriracha enema from a firehose, but even casual observers have noticed a crescendo of pique overwhelming the toddler occupant of 1600 Penn. Now, Politico is reporting that there’s a growing pall hanging…
Donald Trump Jr. says 200,000 noncitizens on Florida's voter rolls; real number: 85 (in 2012)
Sheesh, Jesus Christ himself didn’t work this hard to please his dad. Republicans are frantically searching for voter fraud as the races for Florida governor and U.S. Senate continue to tighten, and now Donald Trump Jr., who by all appearances has the EEG reading of rhubarb torte, is entering the fray. Hey, give him this. While…
Good morning! Donald Trump Jr. expects to be indicted!
It’s a schadenfreude showdown this morning. Do I dance on Scott Walker’s grave?* Do I drink a steaming hot cup of Donald Trump failure? Do I revel in the certainty that Trump’s criminal enterprise will now be subject to House oversight? Oh, here’s a dark horse candidate! Donald Trump Jr. expects to be indicted for…
Trump Jr. says sex assault allegations make him more afraid for his sons than daughters
For the record, I’m very afraid for Jr.’s sons and daughters, but it has nothing to do with sexual assault. From The Daily Mail: Donald Trump Jr. says that in an age when lives can be ruined on both sides of he-said, she-said sexual misconduct claims, he fears more for his sons than for his…
Don Jr. pushes dumb conspiracy theory about CNN, gets spanked like a little boy
Donald Trump Jr. is about one flickering brain cell away from being a really unpopular Muppet, and the zeal with which he gloms onto random conspiracy theories (a la his dough-brained father) is further proof of that. The latest? Because a photo exists of Anderson Cooper standing waist-deep in water several feet from his cameraman…
Mueller doesn't need an interview, Twitterdum strikes again! And other snippets. (Updated with link)
Memo To: Donald Trump Jr Get to know who your friends are, moron! Love, Dad You can always tell when the Duffer in Chief misses a 6″ putt on the 11th green at Bedminster, he goes straight to Twitter, and starts beheading caddies. God knows his handicap is more important than the national…
Trump's real Michael Cohen problem.
Did any of you guys have a younger brother when you were growing up, or you ladies a younger sister? You'd be hanging with your friends, trying to be all cool and shit, and they'd be bouncing around like a neutrino, yapping like a Yorkshire terrier, and ruining all of the ambiance of the moment….
Rudy Giuliani accidentally dropped his pants on Thursday. And it's as ugly as you think.
I swear to God. If I ever get busted for shoplifting, and Rudy Droolingonmi is my court appointed defense attorney, I'm pleading guilty at the arraignment, and begging for the death penalty, rather than have to sit there and watch him bury me live in court. I think that Trump likes having Giuliani around because…
Could Trump face Magnitsky Act sanctions?
Already branded by a survey of historians as America’s worst ever, the presidency of Donald Trump may also live in infamy as the most ironic. After all, the man who ran to “Make America Great Again” has already ceded global climate leadership to China and Europe, withdrawn from the Pacific trade partnership created by the…
Trump's golden showers
Campaign Action Donald Trump and his Republican allies have two definitions of the term, “golden showers.” The first concerns a notorious—and as-yet unsubstantiated–claim from the so-called Russian dossier: Decorum prohibits elaborating further here. The second meaning of the term, however, describes any public policy—usually involving taxes—which overwhelmingly delivers its benefits to the very richest people in…