Peter Navarro, the Trump administration trade adviser whom Jared Kushner found on Amazon.com (the same place I’ve been vainly searching for a one-bedroom tauntaun carcass to hide in for the next four years in case Trump somehow wins again) wants y’all to stop politicizing the, erm, China virus, folks! This morning, he was on Fox &…
Category: BrianKilmeade
FOX News Defends Slave Owners: 'It Doesn't Mean They Were Terrible People'
There is a bitter controversy spreading across America like a viral pandemic. The nation's past is being held to greater scrutiny as a result of repeated incidents of unarmed black Americans being murdered by the police. This evidence of systemic racism has boiled over into a much needed dialog on what values our country ought…
Rubio: Companies are having trouble rehiring because lazy workers make more on unemployment
Sen. Marco Rubio appeared on Fox & Friends the other day to workshop some stupid shit he wanted to say. Brian Kilmeade, who has long been Stupid Shit’s earthly avatar, was happy to oblige him. So it seems people don’t want to work because they’re making more sitting on their asses at home. Couldn’t have…
Conservatives far angrier about WH leakers than the corruption of their president
The BIG BOLTON BOMBSHELL is the talk of the town this morning, and, of course, every last American is simply outraged that it’s now basically irrefutable that our pr*sident is a corrupt, venal maniac who bribes other countries with foreign aid in order to secure sleazy political favors. Ha ha ha! Oh, you naif. Of…
Ukraine floodgates open and Fox News tries to discredit everyone—but it won't work
Will playing whac-a-mole help save the Trump presidency? That's what Fox News and Donald Trump defenders have been reduced to in recent weeks as the White House and its media allies scramble to try to find a coherent defense for his admitted campaign collusion with a foreign power. (This time, it's attempted collusion with Ukraine.)…
The best damn restaurant in Alabama closed today for the bravest reason possible
The Shu Shop in Birmingham, Alabama describes itself as a “relaxed, hip outpost offering Japanese ramen noodles & toppings alongside snacks & small plates.” But if you’re in the Theatre District in downtown today, you won’t be able to enjoy it because it’s closed. In particular, it closed so it wouldn’t have to serve the MAGA “racists”…
Former Fox host: Republicans' concern about the deficit was always a con
In the middle of the Obama years, Alisyn Camerota worked at Fox News, dodging falafels, loofahs, fatally toxic Hannity-lizard-spittle and, no doubt, Brian Kilmeade roaring down the hallways on his Big Wheel whenever he smelled pigs in a blanket cooking in the commissary. In fact, she briefly co-hosted Fox & Friends, which is the journalistic equivalent of getting your…
Fox News to U.S. women's soccer team: Shut up and play
The world champion U.S. women’s soccer team is fast becoming the Dixie Chicks of 2019 — and I love them for it. But not everyone is so inspired. Take Fox News, for example. To paraphrase the Chicks’ Natalie Maines, I’m ashamed that the president of the United States is from the United States. In fact,…
Fox News host: Mueller doesn't know the details of the Mueller report
Fox News could easily replace Brian Kilmeade with a backyard chicken impaled on a mop handle and few would notice. But that would be cruel, and I certainly don’t endorse it. In fact, as a vegan animal rights advocate, I’m more than happy to let the cruelty be beamed over the teevee box in my…
Fox & Friends complain that John Dean tweets too much and uses too many insulting nicknames
Guys, it’s one thing to kill irony and another to dismember its corpse, make a davenport out of its skin, and sit in it while you spew random syllables like a drowned Teddy Ruxpin. Via Media Matters: BRIAN KILMEADE (CO-HOST): This is what he thinks of Donald Trump: He has horrible things to say about Ronald…
Fox & Friends complains that John Dean tweets too much and uses too many insulting nicknames
Guys, it’s one thing to kill irony and another to dismember its corpse, make a davenport out of its skin, and sit on it while you spew random syllables like a drowned Teddy Ruxpin. Via Media Matters: BRIAN KILMEADE (CO-HOST): This is what [John Dean] thinks of Donald Trump: He has horrible things to say about Ronald…
Fox & Friends on Trump losing $1 billion: 'If anything, it's pretty impressive'
We’re about a year away from state-run television Fox News declaring that Donald Trump’s ballooning weight proves he’s ascending to the godhead. I mean, gods have to be big and unnaturally hued, right? For example, Ganesh is a big blue elephant. It couldn’t be more obvious. So the latest Fox & Friends spin on Dear…
Fox News blatherskites: Vets who use all their benefits lack personal integrity
On the one hand, Pete Hegseth claims he never washes his hands and Brian Kilmeade gestated for nine months in a Folgers can full of bathtub gin*, so the stuff they say is bound to make little to no sense. On the other hand, they’re regulars on Fox & Friends, which is Donald Trump’s favorite show….
Fox & Friends deletes tweet bragging about Trump's crappy approval rating
One day, Brian Kilmeade will donate his brain to science. And soon after that, you’ll be able to buy it on Craigslist for 35 cents and a pouch of magic beans. And then, God willing, you’ll be able to find out exactly which Tinker Toy has been lodged in his occipital lobe since 1968. Until then, you’ll…
