Caravans! South American caravans are back! Hide your children and gold doubloons!
So what will the new conservative boogeyman be now that Republicans are finally starting to accept that Donald Trump is a lame duck à l'orange?
Well, conservative media have always played the hits from the ‘90s till today, so they’re bound to cue up a few oldies to keep the white folks dancing.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is their Chicken Dance. Caravans! Caravans are coming to get all you suburban moms! AGAIN!
BRIAN KILMEADE: “If he’s gonna legalize 20 million, guess what’s gonna happen? The rest of Central and South America are going to get word, they’re going to start the caravans again, and he’s going create another problem.
Here they come! They’re coming straight to your door — after a short stop in the desert to bury Hunter Biden’s laptop and stuff a few more fraudulent ballots in California drop boxes, of course. Because winning California by more than 5 million votes isn’t nearly good enough! And meaningless garbage-time votes are the most fun!
Yes, all the good ol’ hobgoblins will be back. Benghazi! The deficit! (Remember the deficit?) Ebola! Antifa! Seth Rich! Maybe Vince Foster will even make an appearance here and there.
Luckily, though, we have no real reason to worry about caravans because Donald Trump built that wall and Mexico already paid for it. Right?
So what the fuck is Kilmeade even talking about? (I assume there’s a Babel fish for translating Fox News mewling into the Queen’s English. Not sure I want it in my head, though, as Fox has already taken a jumbo, Baskin-Robbins-sized scoop of gray matter from my long-beleaguered cranium.)
I can only assume this is an opening salvo. Hey, they have to keep up the crazy now that OANN and Newsmax are plumbing new depths of berserkitude seemingly by the hour.
This will no doubt get interesting. Buckle in.
This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!