BREAKING: Eric Trump is dumb

Granted, he looks like a below-average Sea Monkey who’s grown uncontrollably since being exposed to a gamma-ray burst, but Eric Trump was given numerous advantages in life — including entry into some of the nation’s best schools. 

So what’s with the malapropisms?

I don’t know anything about the tweet Eric is responding to here. I assume it has something to do with OBAMAGATE! Without even looking it up, I can pretty much confirm it’s a just another meaningless distraction from 80,000 dead Americans.

But, uh, “the chips are starting to crumble” is not a saying. Not in English, anyway. Maybe in Russian, but I doubt it. Does he think “let the chips falls where they may” refers to Pringles? Or did he mean to say “that’s the way the chocolate chip cookies crumble”? What exactly?

Anyway, it looks like the Clinton campaign escaped by the corneas of their teeth. Because a bird in the hand is worth two in the longshoreman’s arsehole.

Or something.

Then again, what do you expect? He’s a Trump, and as they say, the cannoli doesn’t fall far from the mulberry bush.

Carry on.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.