Last updated on December 8, 2020
I never thought I’d see the day when Trump consigliere Bill Barr became part of the sinister deep-state cabal, but here we are.
I mean, if we’re going to take it as an article of faith that Donald Trump was cheated out of reelection, then anyone who says otherwise MUST be part of the conspiracy, right?
Enter William “I Will Do Anything for Trump, but I Won’t Do That” Barr.
“There’s been one assertion that would be systemic fraud and that would be the claim that machines were programmed essentially to skew the election results. And the DHS and DOJ have looked into that, and so far, we haven’t seen anything to substantiate that,” Barr told the Associated Press, referring to the departments of Homeland Security and Justice.
Though Justice Department officials have for weeks said that there was not evidence to substantiate the claims of Trump and his allies, Barr’s publicly breaking with the president is particularly significant.
Is he “breaking with” the president or slowly backing away as the president flails and froths like a hemorrhoidal hyena? I think it’s more of the latter, honestly.
Of course, to remain a member in good standing of the Trump Cult, one has to accept every jot and tittle of the Grand 2020 Election Conspiracy narrative — even the stuff that appears to contradict the other stuff. (Were there millions of fake ballots brought to precincts in Brinks trucks, or did Dominion switch the votes? I suppose both could be true, but if you already have an algorithm that will hand the election to Biden, why expose yourself further with all these phony paper ballots?)
This should settle the issue, but of course it won’t, because cult thinking assumes Dear Leader can never be wrong — even when he clearly is.
Time for Barr to hand in his secret conspiracy decoder ring. He’s on the outside looking in now.
This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!
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