As COVID surges, Trump zeroes in on the real problem: 'They're not allowing me to have rallies'

I know that focusing on just one portion of an interview that was actually a wire-to-wire cavalcade of fucknuttery may not be fair. I’m taking this clip out of context — the context being that it floats on a roiling ocean of crazy and is in no way the full measure of the barminess on gruesome display this fine Sunday morning.

But, seriously, this sums up Trump’s narcissism and danger to the country pretty well.

From Trump’s new interview with Chris Wallace (first tweet):

TRUMP: “The Democrats are purposely keeping their schools closed, keeping their states closed. I called Michigan. I want to have a big rally in Michigan. Do you know we’re not allowed to have a rally in Michigan? Do you know we’re not allowed to have a rally in Minnesota? Do you know we’re not allowed to have a rally in Nevada? We’re not allowed to have rallies in these Democrat-run states.”

WALLACE: “But wait a minute, some people would say that that’s a health risk.”

TRUMP: “Some people would say … fine.”

WALLACE: “We had some issues after Tulsa.”

TRUMP: “But if everything was gone 100 percent they still wouldn’t allow it. They’re not allowing me to do it. They’re not allowing me to have rallies.”

Could it be any clearer that Trump only cares about his reelection? Unfortunately, he’s still too stupid to understand that actually mitigating the coronavirus pandemic and flattening the curve could have been his ticket to reelection. We faced a huge crisis, and people were desperately looking for leadership. Sadly, Trump doesn’t know what that means. So he falls back on his go-to campaign strategy — hosting another Hitler Boof rally, no matter the consequences.

In Trump’s reckoning, the biggest problem facing America isn’t the coronavirus pandemic — it’s that he might not get a second term. Boy oh boy, was Mary Trump right.

Oh, and check out that second tweet, too. In a clip that drew a lot of attention, Wallace made headlines earlier this week for challenging Trump on one of his favorite lies — that Joe Biden wants to defund the police. In the same interview, Wallace takes on Trump’s bizarre and deeply ironic strategy of trying to define Joe Biden as an old man with serious cognitive issues.



After Wallace put up a graphic showing that more people think Biden is mentally sound than think Trump is (a majority of Americans, in fact, think Trump isn’t mentally sound enough to be president), the fireworks started to fly:

WALLACE: “Who is more competent? Whose mind is sounder? Biden beats you on that.”

TRUMP: “Well, I tell you what, let’s take a test. Let’s take a test right now. Let’s go down, Joe and I will take a test. Let him take the same test that I took …”

WALLACE: “Incidentally, I took the test, too, when I heard that you passed it. It’s not the hardest test. There’s a picture [crosstalk] and it’s an elephant.”

TRUMP: “See, that’s all misrepresentation.”

WALLACE: “Well, that’s what was on the web.”

TRUMP: “It’s all misrepresentation. Because, yes, the first few questions are easy. But I bet you couldn’t even answer the last five questions. I bet you couldn’t. They get very hard, the last five questions.”

WALLACE: “Well, one of them was count back from 100 by seven.”

TRUMP: “And let me tell you, you couldn’t answer many of the questions … but I guarantee you that Joe Biden could not answer those questions.”

Have you ever seen a man flailing this badly? How does a conversation about taking a test to prove mental soundness almost instantly devolve into incontrovertible proof that the weirdly neurotic man offering the evidence isn’t mentally sound?

And — thank you, Chris Wallace! — finally someone asked him about this bullshit test.

At this point I’m almost scared to watch the debates, assuming Trump doesn’t bail out on them. I can see Trump now, screaming about how he put together the advanced Fisher-Price Choo Choo set before challenging Biden to do the same. Then shouting at moderator Yamiche Alcindor about how there’s no way in hell she could ever put that train set together. Not in a million years.

I’m so glad the president of the United States can correctly identify an elephant and — not only that! — distinguish it from a camel.

We’re in good hands after all, folks. Whew!

“This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!