Arizona audit is checking ballots for bamboo, because they obviously came from Asia

Okay, I knew the current Arizona election audit was a wacky cavalcade of feckless tomfoolery, but I never expected this. They’re checking for bamboo in Arizona’s 2020 election ballots because they may have been smuggled in from Asia.

No, seriously. 

Say, maybe they should toss all the uncounted ballots in the panda paddock at the Phoenix Zoo to see which ones the li’l critters find most delicious. If they scarf down more Biden-Harris ballots than Trump-Pence ballots, you’ve got your proof. Finally! A break in the case!

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