Last updated on January 5, 2021
Whhhyyyyy are they always Republicans?
Just two days after Congressman-elect Luke Letlow, a Republican, died of COVID, yet another GOPster has announced her own run-in with the virus. Weird, huh?
Florida Congresswoman-elect María Elvira Salazar said Thursday that she has tested positive for Covid-19 and will be unable to attend the congressional swearing-in ceremony at the US Capitol on Sunday.
Salazar, a Republican, said on Twitter she was admitted to a local hospital with heart arrhythmia, commonly known as an irregular heartbeat, on December 23, before being tested for Covid-19. That test came back positive, she said.
“I hope that you can forgive me as I have been unable to communicate through social media, but I was diagnosed with COVID-19. I am in quarantine at home & getting better each day. I look forward to hitting the ground running for my community, once it is medically permissible,” Salazar tweeted.
So either Republicans are really shitty at avoiding the plague or they’re being targeted by a deep-state cabal that’s been spiking their wassail punch with COVID-spawning nanobots confected in Bill Gates’ secret underground Illuminati lair.
Of course, Occam’s razor tells me it’s the nanobots.
Earlier this month, a number of other GOP lawmakers tested positive for the virus — including Alabama Rep. Mike Rogers, California Reps. Devin Nunes and Ken Calvert, and South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson — joining the several dozen members of Congress who have tested positive for the virus or its antibodies.
Wisconsin Democratic Rep. Gwen Moore said Monday that she had tested positive for the virus.
Okay, so they had to throw in a Democrat for “balance.” I’ll bet she got it after being exposed to a Republican’s freedom phlegm.
How much better off would we have been if Donald Trump had set a positive example from the get-go? Republicans wouldn’t have had to prove their loyalty to their golden god by killing themselves en masse, and everyone else would have had a much easier time of it.
But, hey, living isn’t as important as staying in Trump’s good graces. Or at least that’s the message they’re all sending.
This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. The first history of the Trump Error is complete! Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the presses! Along with Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump, you’ll see the Trump years from a hilarious new perspective. Click those links, yo!
The Politicus is a collaborative political community that facilitates content creation directly on the site. Our goal is to make the political conversation accessible to everyone.Any donations we receive will go into writer outreach. That could be advertising on Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit or person-to-person outreach on College campuses. Please help if you can: