Okay, white Republicans. Take a left at “get a clue,” a hard right at “your ignorant, half-baked opinion doesn’t fucking matter, Becky” and you’ll arrive safely at “go fuck yourself, Squi.”

(Full disclosure: I’m white. Fuller disclosure: I’m not a Republican, though I used to be back in the long-ago before-times.)

The Washington Post:

According to Pew Research Center, 47 percent of [white] Republicans say it would bother them “some” or “a lot” to “hear people speak a language other than English in a public place.” Just 18 percent of white Democrats said they would be similarly bothered.

Aside from politics, age and education are the major predictors of linguistic discomfort. Just 18 percent of whites younger than 30 said they would be bothered by a foreign language being spoken, compared with 43 percent in the 50 to 64 age group, and 45 percent among those 65 and older.

Among all racial groups, whites (34 percent) are most likely to be bothered hearing foreign languages, followed by blacks (25 percent), Asians (24 percent) and Hispanics (13 percent). Among Americans overall, 70 percent put their level of unease at “not much” or “not at all.”

Hmm. Does it bother you because you’re worried that they’re talking about you? Well, then don’t wear that polo shirt with those Dockers. And try not to be spotted drinking a margarita out of a giant chum bucket the next time you’re stumbling around outside the Maui Cheeseburger in Paradise.

Or maybe they’re just getting on with their lives and speaking a foreign language because they’re bilingual, unlike your dumb ass.

Seriously. This is why we can’t have nice things.

Get over yourselves.

Or as they say in Klingon, “Baktag!”

Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump  and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available at Amazon! They help support my writing and feed my dog. He doesn’t eat much, which is why I can offer these magnum opuses for the absurdly low price of $2.99. Get ‘em while they’re (scorching) hot. Thank you!

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