On Thursday, Old-Age Mutant Cringey Turtle Mitch McConnell took to the Senate floor to whine about Democrats’ supposed deep dive into partisanship:

“Let's be clear: the House's vote yesterday was not some neutral judgment. … It was the predetermined end of a partisan crusade,” McConnell mewled.

That brought a strong — and hilarious — rebuke from former Sen. Al Franken, who clearly knows better:



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No response yet from Merrick Garland.

Of course, McConnell is the quintessence of ugly, cutthroat partisanship. And, you know, just because no one on the other side votes for a measure doesn’t necessarily make it “partisan.” It just means there’s nothing but assholes over there. In other words, they’re extremely disciplined when it comes to their lockstep assholery.

Obama’s stimulus bill — the one that likely averted a second Great Depression — got no House Republican votes either. Why? Because Republicans cared more about embarrassing the new president than rescuing the economy and putting people back to work.

They also blocked further stimulus because of the deficit — which is now somehow less important than pretending a serial adulterer and lifelong conman is the second coming of Christ.

So, yeah. Mitch McConnell and bipartisanship. Don’t make me laugh.

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