As you can see from my brilliant clickbait headline, this diary consists of a thank-you, an announcement, and a book excerpt. (Hey, if my headline had said the pee tape is now available on Hulu, everyone would have clicked, but I have incredible self-restraint.)
First, the thank-you:
Writing a column, essay, diary, or (especially) a book is often a grueling, torturous experience — but it’s always a fun and rewarding one. If people actually read what you’ve written? Hey, that’s just gravy.
For that reason — and many more — I can’t overstate how much I appreciate this community.
Not only is Daily Kos a haven for political junkies like myself who also like to write, it’s a community in the truest sense. I feel welcome here, and embraced by my fellow travelers.
Though, I have to confess: When I first signed up here, I thought, “Hey, I can write diaries to promote my own blog.” Well, my “own blog” lasted about as long as the Mooch. But I stuck around, because why wouldn’t I?
This is my writer’s den now, and a place I can go to maintain my sanity as Trumpites do their best to shit-ify the world around us.
So thank you, thank you, thank you for reading my stuff. And thank you for entertaining and informing me every day — and for making me laugh, think and, occasionally, feel verklempt.
Now, for the announcement:
I have another e-book out! And Kossacks get it for the low, low price of $2.99 (just like everyone else). Titled Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump, it’s the sequel to Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump. (Don’t worry, the new letters are still obscene; I just needed to shorten up the title a bit.) You can find it at Amazon, and if you’re a Prime member, I believe you can read it for free.
A year in the making, it covers the past year of Trumpian madness, from April 1, 2018 to April 1, 2019. And it’s cheaper than a new pair of socks — depending on what kind of socks you wear … and where you get them.
But, hey, if you snag a copy, feel free to pass it along for free to a friend. When it comes to humiliating our oafish ocher overlord, I sure don’t mind people paying it forward.
And the best part? I’ve dedicated the book to the Daily Kos community, because it literally would not exist without this site. Nor would my first book, for that matter.
And finally, the book excerpt! One rude letter to whet your appetite — a nearly 3 cent value, but it’s yours today for absolutely free!
April 19, 2018
- Former New York mayor and shrunken apple head Rudy Giuliani joins Trump’s legal team
From the Desk of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing
To: Donald Trump, proud citizen of the CCCPee
Dear Fucking Moron,
So you snagged Giuliani, huh? What a coup.
How many Chuck E. Cheese Skee Ball tickets did you have to spend to lure him away from the animatronic jug band? Seriously, did you have to get permission from the Jizzmoppers Local 271 to let him work for you?
I don’t know if you’ve seen him lately, but he looks like a popcorn ball that rolled under Grandma Dottie’s bedroom couch six Christmases ago. You’d get better legal advice from a bath salts hallucination.
Then again, I’ve gotta hand it to you. He’s the only lawyer on the planet who has to be viewed through 3-D glasses. So that’s something, anyway.
And this quote!
“I’m doing it because I hope we can negotiate an end to this for the good of the country and because I have high regard for the president and for Bob Mueller.”
Sure. Good luck with that. What’s he going to negotiate with? Charm? He’s what coffee breath would be if it were conjured into human form. If you shoved a pair of chattering novelty teeth up a longshoreman’s asshole and said that was your lawyer, at least you’d have a puncher’s chance. And no one but the longshoreman would know the difference.
Good luck with the “negotiations.” I’m sure you’ll be off the hook and happily [REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED].*
*Hey, some things are over the line even for a Pennyfarthing diary.