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A crazy number of Republicans think God wanted Trump to be president

Apparently God wasn’t powerful enough to make him win the popular vote, though. He wanted a president without a clear mandate!

Washington Post:

Nearly half of Republicans, 45 percent, believe that God wanted Trump to be president, with another 18 percent indicating that they weren’t sure. More than half of white evangelical Protestants — 55 percent — said that God endorsed Trump. Only 3 in 10 evangelicals said categorically that they didn’t think Trump had God’s explicit support in the election.

That makes a lot of sense, because when I think Jesus, the very next image that comes to mind is a guy who is the perfect synthesis of the seven deadly sins and a seven-layer burrito.

Of course, if you’re a cult leader, it’s really, really hard to lose the confidence of your followers. And Trump has that going for him in spades:

The Fox poll suggests something else about Trump’s presidency, as noted on Twitter by Bloomberg News’s Steven Dennis: It’s hard to see how Trump could ever lose the support of the quarter of Americans who believe he was chosen by God to serve in his position. Trump’s political base is larger than 25 percent, but that 25 percent — those 45 percent of Republicans — seem unlikely to withdraw their support.

So instead of someone we could all look up to, God chose as his prophet a serial adulterer, shameless fraudster, slovenly vulgarian, tax cheat, vainglorious layabout, indiscriminate liar, and sociopathic narcissist.

Just like Jesus!

So basically what they’re saying is God wanted someone who wasn’t black this time.

I guess it’s true that we all tend to make God in our own image, huh?


Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.


But wait, there’s more! The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President is also available at Amazon! You can get two great political humor ebooks for less than the price of the coffee you’ll be spitting out on your tablet when you read them!

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