Donald Trump

Damn, we sure do love to compare shit in tis country, do’t we? Sports nuts compare stats, standings and schedules until the cows come home. We compare our new car to our old one. We compare our current spouse, boyfriend,girlfriend to our previous one. Hell, we even compare our current dog to all of our past pooches, just to see which one slobbered on us the most if blind affection. 

But for the last two years, if there is one thing we have loved to compare above all others, it’s one Donald John Trump. In terms of history, I have called him the $1 Store Caligula, the Pocket Caesar, the Orange Julius, and in one article I had a pic of him in a toga, dressed like Nero, fiddling away while Rome burned. In more current history, Trump has been compared to Richard Nixon, Adolf Hitler, and Benito Mussolini. All of those comparisons are uniformly negative for Trump, yet his base is as loyal and fervent as ever. Why?

Let’s be honest, the typical Trump supporter is no Rhodes scholar. Hell, we’ve got actual Rhodes scholars running against Trump, so what does that tell you. Most reporting and analysis says that Trump voters tend to be less educates, lower income, white, and older.  good swatch of them are disaffected Democratic voters who feel that the party dumped them for the Starbucks-Wall Street circuit. 

If you ask them, they’ll tell you that they support Trump because he’s an outsider, or a “tough guy,” whatever that is, or a real estate mogul who can fix the country. They tell you that, but basically, they’re full of shit.

What Trump supporters love most about Trump is that he gets away with shit. Not only that, but he flaunts getting away with whatever shit he’s currently getting away with. From rubbing his current wife’s nose in his infidelities, to being the worlds worst businessman, to threatening anybody he hates with lawsuits, to flipping double barrel birds at creditors with bankruptcies, Trump gets away with it all. He s”sticks it to the man,” whomever “the man” is. And he gts away with shit that they themselves are too chicken shit to try to get away with.

Back in the 1930’s, we had a helluva depression going on. There were way more have-nots than haves. And who were the cultural heroes to the downtrodden and oppressed in the 1930’s? Freakin’ bank robbers, that’s who! Forget the fact that when Bonnie and Clyde robbed the local bank, they got away with the last $6 you had to your name for a rainy day, they were “sticking it to the man,” and all of the hopeless lost of the depression cheered them on. When these thugs were caught, people mobbed up in front of the courthouse to cheer them on their way in and out. The best of them was Al Capone, who used pocket change from his operations to set up a/soup kitchen, where people down on their luck could get a free hot meal. Celebrities, politicians, and even judges were known to drop into Big Al’s soup kitchen for a bite. And people loved him for being a murderous maniac.

So, if we’re going to compare Donald Trump to a historical figure, I suggest we start with John Dillinger. Maybe Homer Van Meter. or, considering his frequent temper tantrums, more appropriately George “Baby Face” Nelson. Because this comparison is the only thing that adequately explains his die hard following. The great downtrodden of the 1930’s knew that Bonnie and Clyde were bad, vicious, sociopathic creatures and they didn’t care. And by now, everybody with the IQ of celery knows that Trump’s public persona is pure, unadulterated bullshit. They just don’t care. It’s the only explanation that fits.

Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are still sitting around collecting dust, and Amazon is starting to send me nasty e-mails. And what better time to get reacquainted with the roller coaster that was the 2016 election cycle than before the release of the final volume of the trilogy, President Evil III, All the Presidents Fen.

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  • May 14, 2019