The redoubtable Gabe Sherman has another dispatch from the land of cray-cray kookaburras. And in this episode of the Fluorescent Lipo-Fat Golem Show, our intrepid protagonist is heartlessly tossing his most loyal puppies under the sputtering Trump Train.

Seems Trump doesn’t think his campaign team is doing a good job of spinning his congealing couch sharts into gold (“Trump feels he’s doing it all alone,” one campaign adviser told Sherman), and so he’s hit on the idea of undermining Joe Biden by attacking President Obama’s legacy.

The only problem? Obama is way, way, way more popular than Trump is, ever was, or ever will be.

Vanity Fair:

According to sources, Trump believes the answer to the message weakness is to declare all-out war on Biden’s former boss: Barack Obama. “Trump knows Biden is only popular because he was Obama’s V.P.,” a prominent Republican told me. Which is why, a few days after [Trump campaign manager Brad] Parscale’s Death Star tweet, Trump accused Obama of unnamed crimes under the umbrella of “Obamagate.” “Obama is going to be on the campaign trail in a big way. He’s the most popular Democrat of the past four decades. Trump knows you have to neutralize him, and he’s frustrated Brad didn’t think of that,” the campaign adviser said. “Trump feels he’s doing it all alone.”

But Trump’s targeting of Obama has been causing consternation among Republicans, who fear he is pursuing a base-incitement strategy when he needs to appeal to crucial suburban voters in must-win battleground states. “Going after Obama is a big risk,” a former West Wing official said. “Obama is seen as trustworthy and reasonable. If you attack him and people don’t buy it, then you have a huge swing and a miss in front of the entire country.” 

The funniest part, though? Trump has apparently turned on close ally and unyielding arse-smoocher Lindsey Graham.

Last Thursday, Trump tweeted at Senate Judiciary chair Lindsey Graham, saying that Graham needed to call Obama to testify at hearings on Michael Flynn’s unmasking and the origin of the Russia probe. Graham rejected the request. “Trump thinks Lindsey isn’t doing anything on Flynn,” a former White House official said. According to the former official, Trump recently asked prominent allies to tweet negative things about Graham, and he has been complaining that Graham is a hanger-on. “Trump has said, ‘Since [John] McCain died, Lindsey follows me around and shows up to play golf and I don’t even invite him,’” according to the source briefed on the conversation.

Why would anyone ever sign onto the Trump agenda when that agenda is 100 percent about fluffing Trump at every conceivable opportunity, and then some?

If you stray from the path even a little, expect a shiv in the exercise yard. FFS, The Penguin treated his henchmen better.

Unfortunately, Graham handed his dignity over to Trump in a formaldehyde-filled jar ages ago. Now Trump is looking to plop the senator’s sylvan Carolina ‘nards in there as well.

Hope he's happy, because Trump sure isn’t.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.