Trump suggests health care workers are stealing masks … because he's not unstable or anything

Thank God I stocked up on weed.

From Donny’s Daily Disinfo Dance Party:

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TRUMP: For years 10 to 20,000 masks. Okay, it’s a New York hospital. It’s packed all the time. How do you go from … 10 to 20,000 masks to 300,000, even though this is different. Something is going on, and you ought to look into it as reporters. Where are the masks going? Are they going out the back door? How do you go from 10,000 to 300,000, and we have that in a lot of different places. So somebody should probably look into that, because I just don’t see from a practical standpoint how that’s possible to go from that to that, and we have that happening in numerous places.

1) I never considered that health care workers might be stealing masks and selling them on the open market because my mind doesn’t work that way. But Trump’s does. Apparently, this is what he’d be doing now if he were a health care worker.

2) If this is really happening — which I really, really doubt — maybe it suggests that there actually is a shortage of medical equipment.

3) We’re in the middle of the Great Trump Plague. Of course they’re using a lot more masks than usual. I really doubt this hospital has a Milo Minderbinder absconding with vital medical supplies and exchanging them for tomatoes and eggs. I’m just sure doctors and nurses, who are watching people in their care die every day, are first and foremost thinking about how to profit from this disaster. And naturally they’re eager to sell off the very equipment that’s keeping them from contracting a potentially fatal disease.

4) “Ed! You’re off the Trump-is-an-incompetent-rancid-olive-loaf beat and on the Trump-brain-fart-conspiracy beat. We need to cover this stolen mask story. Because … well, because Trump never, ever lies.”

This guy continues to surprise me. Not like a surprise birthday party — which is horrible in its own right. More like the shark in Jaws.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.