Don’t worry, folks. He’s got this:

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— Baseball (@baseballminutia) March 6, 2020

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— Curt Heiden (@cjheiden6) March 6, 2020

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— Jim Kilgus (@KilgusJim) March 6, 2020

I can imagine all the Americans on their deathbeds right now, gamely summoning one last breath in order to ask how great the ratings for Trump’s town hall were. “Were they *cough, cough* better than *wheeeeeeeze, cough* Crazy Bernie’s ratings? No, no water, please. Just … I must know.”

Oh, and in case you’re worried, the CDC director did not touch his face after licking Trump’s boots in the video below. So he’s gonna be just fine.

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— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 6, 2020

And here’s Trump claiming he’s really awesome at science-y stuff because his uncle taught at MIT (second tweet):

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Jebus Christmas, we’re fucked.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.