New MAGA corona-spiracy! Only blue staters are getting sick, because they want to hurt Trump

I said this when Donald Trump was first elected: Our country is too stupid to live.

I never meant it literally, though. I may have been wrong about that.

As RawStory has noted, MAGAs across the country are finding eerie significance in the fact that most of the COVID-19 cases reported so far have been in blue states. And they’re demonstrating a peculiar melange of smugness and schadenfreude over it:

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— bob berger (@bobberg19110252) March 1, 2020

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— Coni (@Coni23245898) March 1, 2020

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— TMC (@TMCROCKSOLID) March 1, 2020

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— Mr. Wick, “A Dog-Faced Pony Soldier” (@ImperialWick) March 1, 2020

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— Set The Narrative (@SETTHENARRATIVE) March 1, 2020

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— Michael Legero #MAGAvetran#BUILD THE WALL# (@michael_legero) March 1, 2020

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— USARebelSway: Convention of the States (@USARebelSway) March 1, 2020

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This is why we can’t have nice things.

And to answer the question that’s top-of-your-febrile-little-minds: Yes, it is a coincidence. For one thing, it makes sense that some of the first domestic cases were reported on the West Coast, because of its proximity to Asia. And the West Coast just happens to be solid blue. It also makes sense that you’d see more cases reported in large population centers, which tend to be more liberal.

Also, two cases have now been reported in Florida and one in Arizona. Not exactly liberal redoubts. But keep thinking Donald Trump’s orange traffic cone of protection will keep you safe. See how that works. 

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.