Am I baked?* Can this shit be real?
REPORTER: “Do you have any comments on Elon Musk?”
TRUMP: “Well, you have to give him credit. I spoke to him very recently, and he’s also doing the rockets. He likes rockets. And he does good at rockets, too, by the way. I never saw where the engines come down with no wings, no anything, and they’re landing. I said I’ve never seen that before. And I was worried about him because he’s one of our great geniuses, and we have to protect our genius. You know, we have to protect Thomas Edison and we have to protect all of these people that came up with originally the light bulb, and the wheel, and all of these things, and he’s one of our very smart people and we want to cherish those people. That’s very important. But he’s done a very good job.”
Yes, I recall when Ben Franklin invented the fucking wheel. Of course.
You know, I really want to know who holds the wheel patent, because that person would be worth fucking knowing. Get me in on some of that motherfuckin’ wheel money. Fuck yes.
*Yes. Yes, I am.
Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its super-fun sequels Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.