You may remember Matt Whitaker as the bald dude who was Trump’s acting attorney general for a couple of months for some reason. No one really knew why. It sure remains a mystery to me, though. The only thing I can think of is that Trump was hoping to assemble an entire cabinet full of big, bald Batman villain henchmen because he thought it would look cool, but then he gave up on the idea before it ever took off.
Whatever. Whitaker was replaced by Machiavellian Droopy Dog and the rest is history.
Well, he’s back — and again, I can’t figure out why.
He was on Fox News’ America’s Newsroom yesterday and the following exchange occurred.
BILL HEMMER (CO-ANCHOR): You heard the news from Nancy Pelosi. Forecast this for us. How does it play out, do you think?
MATT WHITAKER (FORMER ACTING U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL): Well, it appears an impeachment fever has affected the Dems in the House, and they're going to ignore what the evidence shows. They're going to ignore an ability to get more evidence and to use the legitimate constitutional process of all three branches — who are co-equal and independent — and they're going to move forward. And it's really a sad day for America. It is, I think, going to, you know, hurt people's Christmas experience, because this is going to be playing in the background. Instead of Bing Crosby's Christmas album, we're going to have impeachment en vogue.
This sounds like the beginning of the worst Rankin/Bass Claymation Christmas special ever. Rudy the Brown-Nosed Brain-Schmear saves Christmas by flying to Ukraine and discovering the true meaning of impeachment.
And, uh, they’re going to ignore what the evidence shows? I think the evidence shows exactly what it appears to show: Donald Trump is absurdly guilty, and everyone fucking knows it.
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