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Trump occasionally hands phone to Ivanka during calls with foreign leaders, throws notes in burn bag

So the AP just published a rundown of Donald Trump’s infamous call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, and a few morsels of deeply weird Trumpfuckery stood out from the usual smorgasbord of garden-variety fucknuttery.

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For one thing, Trump doesn’t prepare — at all — for these calls. (Why should calls to foreign heads of state be different than anything else he does?) And that’s why his Zelensky call went so fatally off the rails.

“Judging from the content of the Trump-Zelenskiy call, Trump was not reading talking points,” [former U.S. ambassador to Russia Michael] McFaul said. “No one on our team ever would have prepared a call package prompting Obama to ask for a personal favor that would help him win reelection. I also doubt that Trump’s NSC staff would have written or cleared such a talking point for their boss.”

Oh, and he “occasionally” hands the phone to Ivanka so she can speak to famous world leaders. Because she’s 5, apparently.

Occasionally, while on the phone with foreign heads of state, Trump has handed the receiver to his daughter, Ivanka Trump, so she can talk with the leader, according to this individual.

And this will shock you. Six-page briefs are too much for Trump’s billowing cranium full of circus peanut mush. You gotta get that down to less than a page, dude. Comic sans font preferred.

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The person said a six-page pre-brief with attachments was once prepared for Trump before a call to a foreign leader. But that turned out to be too long, as did a single-page version. Preparing pre-brief note cards that offered about three talking points for Trump to make on a call was the norm, according to this person, who feared retribution for describing this process and spoke on condition of anonymity.

The individual said that when Trump is done with the note cards, he often rips them up and tosses them in a burn bag. Staff who handle records have had to retrieve the burn bags from the residence, put the papers out on a table and tape them back together to preserve them as official presidential records, this person said.

You may have heard that last bit before — that Trump is so callow and stupid staffers need to paste his notes back together to keep him from breaking the law.

But it’s nice to receive confirmation that — yes — Trump really is as idiotic as you thought he was. Then again, there’s no paucity of evidence, is there?

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear Fcking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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