First, Elizabeth Warren’s brilliant response to a recent question about “traditional” (i.e., noninclusive and oppressive) values:
QUESTIONER: “Let’s say you’re on the campaign trail …”
WARREN: “I have been … [laughter]”
QUESTIONER: “… and a supporter approaches you and says, ‘Senator, I’m old-fashioned and my faith teaches me that marriage is between one man and one woman. What is your response?”
WARREN: “Well, I’m gonna assume it’s a guy who said that, and I’m gonna say, ‘Then just marry one woman. I’m cool with that.’” [raucous laughter and applause] “Assuming you can find one.”
Oh, but Marco Rubio — who once suggested during a nationally televised debate that Donald Trump had a very, very, very, perhaps even vanishingly small, penis — couldn’t hie to his fainting couch fast enough.
Warren’s response was perfect if you believe in a country where people’s choices should be respected so long as those choices don’t harm others. But Rubio doesn’t believe in that. He believes in free choice for gun owners (naturally), but not for LGBTQ people.
Let me fix that for you, Senator:
Vividly captures the
condescension of elites & their incessant ridicule of Americans with traditional values. It elicits glee among celebrities & blue check brigade. But for the millions sick of being disrespected it elicits support for fighting back,even in a crude or vulgar wayfact that love is love.
Also, yeah, Donald Trump’s dick is most likely very tiny. But I’d be more worried about his lawlessness and low-rent treason. Instead of going after Sen. Warren for her embrace of LGBTQ people, maybe save your ire for the wanton tub of goo eating away at your party like a colony of meat ants skeletonizing an emu.
Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear Fcking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.