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Stupid man in White House thinks Breitbart impeachment poll matters somehow

I mean, sure, online polls are fun, but they’re almost always meaningless. Especially when an admittedly biased media outlet asks its readers a leading question worded like something William Wallace might say before the Battle of Stirling Bridge.

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But for the densest man in Washington, these kinds of masturbatory exercises are fraught with meaning.

To wit:

Oh, and I thought Trump might actually be in some kind of trouble. Guess not. Move along, y’all. Nothing to see here.

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Honestly, this is like asking High Times readers whether they’d rather live in Colorado or Jeff Sessions’ basement. You’ll get the answer you want but, well, so fucking what? It’s like sticking your head up your own ass instead of getting a colonoscopy. (And then screaming THANK YOU!) 

You might want a second opinion is all I’m saying.

Meanwhile, in the real world — where Adderall-dusted candy apples don’t grow from thorn bushes — Trump is underwater on the impeachment question.

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CNN:

About half, 47%, support impeaching the President and removing him from office, up from 41% who felt that way in a CNN poll in May. The current level matches the high point for impeaching Trump in previous CNN polling — 47% said they felt that way in September 2018.

The share who favor impeachment and removal from office now narrowly outpaces the share who say they don’t feel that way — a first in CNN polling — although the two figures are within the poll’s margin of sampling error. Opposition stands at 45% in the new poll, down from 54% who said so in May and the lowest point in CNN polling on this topic.

But I’m sure the unscientific Breitbart poll with the thousands of self-selected respondents is far more accurate. Because … well, it just has to be. Right?

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear Fcking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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