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Trump offers condolences like an alien reptile-man would

WTF is this, Kodos?

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Highest condolences from the Supreme Regent of Altair IV to the symbiotic podmates of the fallen Earthli … er, brave American soldiers!

He is so, so, so, so, so, so, sooooooo fucking bad at this. Does this have anything to do with the soldiers being (presumably) Hispanic?

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Can we have someone else in the administration handle anything having to do with sincere human emotion? Where have you gone, Barack Obama? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

(And, no, I’m not trying to make light of this tragedy — unless you mean the tragedy with the overlong red tie that’s embarrassing us in Europe as we speak.)

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.

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