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Trump isn't racist. Bill O'Reilly says so.

He’s researched it! RESEARCHED IT!

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By the way, I’ve always kind of thought of Bill O’Reilly as a proto-Trump. A beta version, if you will.

Totally bonkers-crazy, self-absorbed, dumb, delusional, preternaturally thin-skinned, frighteningly easy to provoke, splenetic, angry, and, of course, a big, gross, power-sotted perv. So I guess a book written by Bill O’Reilly about Donald Trump just makes sense in a way. You know, in the same way it makes sense for a brain-diseased bigfoot to jerk off other crazy bigfoots.

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I won’t be buying it, though. Because I’d rather staple eels to my asshole.

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!

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