So it’s Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ last day, and it’s bittersweet — like bidding adieu to a fungal toenail you’ve had for two years. In a way you miss it because it’s been there so long. But, really, in no way do you miss it. Not even a little.
I’d hoped she’d sink backwards into a hedge like Sean Spicer, but no. She’s actually proud of what she’s done.
Speaking of The Simpsons, I also kind of hoped she’d beam up to her home planet like Poochie when this day finally arrived, but that didn’t happen either. It appears Mother Earth actually spawned this heap of putrefying lies all by herself.
Sanders ultimately decided she couldn’t slip away quietly, though. She had to remind people she was leaving — as if anyone would have noticed.
And the responses to her goodbye tweet were, well, precious.
Farewell, Mouth of Sauron. I’m so glad we had this time together. Enjoy eating Chick-fil-A for the rest of your natural life. I’m not sure who else will serve you.
Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!