Fox anchors call B.S. on Trump's Iran strike story

Fox News’ Chris Wallace and Shep Smith are pretty much the brains of the outfit — and by that I mean they actually have brains, whereas the material substratum of Sean Hannity’s subjective consciousness is pretty much just a sentient fart in a jar.

And so when Smith and Wallace heard Donald Trump’s tall tale about calling off a previously approved military strike on Iran with 10 minutes to spare because he finally got around to asking about casualties, they realized something was hinky.

x

SMITH: Something’s wrong there.

WALLACE: Yeah, I talked to a former top national security official in an earlier Republican administration who says this just doesn’t add up. When the president meets with his top Pentagon people, they give him a very thorough list, a menu, of targets and say, “You can hit this target, you can hit that target; if you do, here are the possible casualties.” They run through the whole thing. This is a routine thing that the military does in these kinds of situations, and it is at that point that a president would have been fully briefed by the generals as to, if you hit target A, here are the dangers or here is the possible collateral damage. So the idea that the president, 10 minutes before the actual go — and again, The New York Times is reporting that the ships were in place, that the airplanes, the warplanes were in the air — that 10 minutes before, you’re learning for the first time that there were going to be 150 casualties seems pretty unlikely and certainly not the way it’s been done in the past.

Good lord, how have we gotten here? We live in a world where you literally can’t take one thing the president of the United States says at face value, unless it’s been previously verified as true. Not. One. Thing. And so we all have to fill in the blanks.

Why did he lie this time?

Maybe Uncle Vlad told him to stand down.

Maybe he got cold feet.

Maybe everyone in the strike force suddenly and mysteriously came down with a case of 24-hour bone spurs.

Maybe Trump’s missing tub of strawberry Red Vines fell out of John Bolton’s mustache and Trump realized he could no longer trust him.

Since Trump lies all the time, we just don’t know. 

What we do know is that Trump’s official story made him look really, really stupid. So how embarrassing is the real story?

And what is the real story? 

We almost went to war two days ago and all they’ve given us are fairy tales.

Can we please get a new president now? I’m kind of freaked out about this.

Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!