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250! Trump reaches another dubious milestone

He said he would never golf as president. Something about being too busy.

And he certainly never told us he’d cheat so shamelessly if and when he did golf.

Then again, he says a lot of things — hardly any of them are true.

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In case you’re not a math genius like Ivanka, he’s now spent nearly 30 percent of his days as pr*sident at one of his own properties — soaking up taxpayer dollars like the banana republic kleptocrat he is. And he continues to visit these garish shitholes even though we’re in a state of national emergency. (Ya. Remember that? I’ve been freeze-drying legumes for months now, and I haven’t seen the sky for weeks. I’ve been cowering alone in fear, refusing to leave the house. Someone please tell me; have the Mexicans taken my job yet?) 

Hey, if you’re already spending that much time in Florida, just fucking retire already. An intern could do your job, FFS.

Donald Trump hates you! Hate him back! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available at Amazon! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee … or a black-market Xanax … or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my lovelies! Buy now!

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