I know you probably think I’ve been sniffing DMT off a psychedelic toad’s hindquarters, but this is real. A real thing that’s happening. Within the space-time continuum.
In a memorandum released Monday evening, President Trump directed Attorney General William Barr and acting Homeland Security Secretary Kevin McAleenan to issue new regulations within 90 days to help overhaul the asylum process — including charging fees on asylum applications.
Details: Trump wants immigration courts to adjudicate all asylum applications within 180 days of filing, a move the memo said would “safeguard our system against rampant abuse of our asylum process.” The memo would also charge filing fees for asylum seekers applying for work permits while waiting for their cases to be heard, and prohibit those who entered the country illegally from being able to receive work permits while their asylum cases are pending.
Cruelty for cruelty’s sake. Now that’s what every good American wants to see out of our leaders.
“Fabulous!” “Hysterically funny!” “Cathartic!” These are just a few of the many accolades from readers of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump. And now, the long-awaited sequel is here! Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the digital press and available as a $2.99 download from Amazon. Buy there, or be square. (And while you’re doing that, grab yourself a copy of The Fierce, Fabulous [and Mostly Fictional] Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President, also from AJP.)