Why? Because he’s the worst (er, second-worst) human being on the planet.
A random conservative goober tweeted out these photos of Mitch McConnell, memorializing the chelonian choad’s singular role in killing Merrick Garland’s Supreme Court nomination.
In case your eyes don’t stick 12 inches out of your head like Mitch’s do, the shirt says “Merrick Garland/3/16/16–1/3/17/Gone But Not Forgotten.” And he signed it and posed with it while wearing the very same shite-eating grin you’ve grown to detest.
Please, please, please let’s send this smug, scabrous ungulate-fucker back to the private sector, where he can work as a lobbyist for the dog-fighting industry … or whatever he might come up with that’s somehow degrees more repugnant than that. (I know you can do it, Mitch.)
Fuck you, Mitch. Forever.
“Fabulous!” “Hysterically funny!” “Cathartic!” These are just a few of the many accolades from readers of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump. And now, the long-awaited sequel is here! Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the digital press and available as a $2.99 download from Amazon. Buy there, or be square. (And while you’re doing that, grab yourself a copy of The Fierce, Fabulous [and Mostly Fictional] Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President, also from AJP.)