Scotland will be ready to protest the Cheeto-faced sh*tgibbon if he visits

The tiny-fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret-wearing shitgibbon is returning to the UK, and should he alight on Scotland’s verdant hilltops, they’ll be ready for him.

Trump is scheduled to embarrass us all in front of the Queen again from June 3-5, and as of yet he has no official plans to visit Scotland. But since he owns property there, and the only thing he knows about the wider world is that his mother is Scottish, he may decide to drag his shite-besotted pantaloons through the highlands for a round of golf ‘n’ gaucherie.

But he won’t do so without a fierce show of resistance.

The Scotsman:



Jonathon Shafi, a co-founder of the Scotland United Against Trump group, said large-scale protests would be called at short notice if required.

“Last time Donald Trump visited Scotland tens of thousands took to the streets,” he told The Scotsman. “Should he come to Scotland again, we will organise mass demonstrations and protests to ensure that a clear message is sent. One that says he is not welcome here, and that his toxic brand of politics will be opposed.”

A Scottish government spokeswoman was a wee bit more diplomatic, but not much:

“Scotland has deep and longstanding ties of family, friendship and business with the United States, which will continue to endure. However, we will not compromise our fundamental values of equality, diversity, and human rights and we expect these values to be made clear during the President’s visit to the UK.”

Why is it that just about every other country in the world instinctively gets how repugnant Trump is? If we’re going to be an outlier, why can’t we just stick to being the only country that thinks Yakov Smirnoff is funny? Why this?

Go Scotland! We’ll be with you in spirit.

Fabulous!” “Hysterically funny!” “Cathartic!” These are just a few of the many accolades from readers of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump. And now, the long-awaited sequel is here! Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump is hot off the digital press and available as a $2.99 download from Amazon. Buy there, or be square. (And while you’re doing that, grab yourself a copy of The Fierce, Fabulous [and Mostly Fictional] Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President, also from AJP.)



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