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There ain't gonna be a wall, and Trump now knows it

It now looks like the only way we’re going to get a Mexican border wall is if Stephen Miller makes one himself out of that spray-on hair gunk he doused his head with last Sunday.

Everyone knows it — even the eternally obtuse Donald Trump.

And he’s a bit piqued about it.

From CNN:

President Donald Trump has become increasingly sensitive to criticism that he’s backing off his signature promise to build a wall along the US-Mexico border, three sources familiar with his concern tell CNN, as aides fear the administration’s chances for securing funding for it have sunset.

GOP lawmakers and Trump are set to OK a short-term funding measure to avert a year-end government shutdown and Democrats will assume control of the House in 2019, virtually assuring no additional border wall funding.
Trump’s anxiety about fulfilling his top campaign goal comes at the end of months of bitter debate inside the West Wing over how to fund the border wall between those seen as ideologues and those who consider themselves pragmatists.

Having whiffed this badly on his primary — and most crowd-pleasing — campaign promise has made Trump a bit crazier than his baseline batshit bonkers, which is why he’s tried to pretend the wall is already built and Mexico is already paying for it — which when you think about it is a little like spray-on hair for broken oaths.

Meanwhile, with the House set to revert to Democratic control in January — and likely to remain in Dem hands for years to come, barring a Trump personality transplant — the chance that Trump will ever have the funds for his wall appears to be almost nil.

Trump postponed the summer fight over the border wall when he signed a short-term spending bill in September, but the issue has resurfaced and the same disagreements that were laid bare in that August meeting still exist. The prospect of funding the wall this time around grew dim when Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced Wednesday he will introduce a continuing resolution, a deal that will fund the government through February 8 but deny the President his wall funding.
In a radio interview Wednesday, Ann Coulter, a conservative who has criticized the lack progress on the wall, declared she won’t vote for Trump in 2020 if the wall isn’t built.

Of course, if I were running for office and Ann Coulter said she was voting for me, I’d pull my brain out through my sinuses with a pair of olive tongs, but she’s one of Trump’s head lemmings, and it’s a real bad omen if he loses her.

And it now looks like he will.

Along with what’s left of his mind.

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Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.

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But wait, there’s more! The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President is also available at Amazon! You can get two great political humor ebooks for less than the price of the coffee you’ll be spitting out on your tablet when you read them!

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