Why not just make it Celestial Demigod of the Year? He’d still win it easily, but at least it would be fair. (He is a giant orange ball of hot gas that’s destined to swallow up the Earth and everyone in it, so it’s not that far off.)
Personally, I can imagine lots of other people as Person of the Year. How about the guy who loofahs the giant adobe bricks off Trump’s face every morning so he doesn’t scare toddlers and house cats quite as much?
Or Christine Blasey Ford?
Or the Parkland students?
Or, I don’t know, anyone but Donald Effing Trump?
And what difference does it make anyway, when he can just give the award to himself?
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