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Trump says he 'can't imagine' anyone but Trump as Time's Person of the Year

Why not just make it Celestial Demigod of the Year? He’d still win it easily, but at least it would be fair. (He is a giant orange ball of hot gas that’s destined to swallow up the Earth and everyone in it, so it’s not that far off.)

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Personally, I can imagine lots of other people as Person of the Year. How about the guy who loofahs the giant adobe bricks off Trump’s face every morning so he doesn’t scare toddlers and house cats quite as much?

Or Christine Blasey Ford?

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Or the Parkland students?

Or, I don’t know, anyone but Donald Effing Trump?

And what difference does it make anyway, when he can just give the award to himself?

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DONALD TRUMP: “I am a sad little husk of a human being with no true friends and no real reason to live”

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Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.

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But wait, there’s more! The Fierce, Fabulous (and Mostly Fictional) Adventures of Mike Ponce, America’s First Gay Vice President is also available at Amazon! You can get two great political humor ebooks for less than the price of the coffee you’ll be spitting out on your tablet when you read them!

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