Jeff Flake (JF): This party is getting out of hand.
Lindsey Graham (LG): Oh it gets that way sometimes Jeff. You know that. Those unethical democrats get overwrought and all this happens.
JF: I want to go home.
Chuck Grassley (CG): Don’t go home Jeff. Stay and party with us. We’re the cool kids.
JF: I want to go home. Where’s my friend Chris Coons?
LG: Oh he's over there with his friends. He doesn’t really care about you.
JF: This is all making me uncomfortable.
LG: Why don’t you take a little glass of FBI investigation. That will make you comfortable. I promise.
JF: I should talk to Chris Coons.
CG: Oh forget about him. Just take a little drinkee and everybody will feel better.
JF: There’s nothing wrong with it is there.
LG: We’re your friends Jeff. Why would we do that? We have to see each in committee every day.
CG: Just stay and say you want an investigation. Easy as that. And if you don’t like it you can go home.
JF: Why don’t you just let me go home
LG: Everybody is going to think you are a wuss if you leave. I doubt you’ll find out about another party.
JF: One drink and then I leave okay?
CG: Whatever you say Jeff.
Jeff Flake takes the drink of FBI investigation and buckles at the knees. Lindsay Graham and Chuck Grassley carry him to a bedroom door where Mitch McConnell is standing.
MM: Looks like you guys got him good.
LG: Oh he decided to have a good time.
MM: Donald Trump gets the first turn. He gets really upset if he’s not first. Then let’s let McGann have a turn. He worked really hard to get this whole party together. Then me, then some others can get a turn. How about you Lindsey.
LG: No, no, maybe, ahm another time.
For what it’s worth I don’t believe Flake was in on it. He really did look sincere. And I don’t think he'd want his last national act to be one of humiliation.