Julia Davis is a Russia media analyst who monitors the country’s television broadcasts.

And it turns out she’s dug up morel disgusting shiitake for us to chew on.

Seems Russian state TV is skeptical about Stormy Daniels’ recent allegation that Trump’s toadstool is far too small to satisfy a woman or safely house Jeff Sessions. And, perhaps fearing that their Manchurian candidate could burst into a cloud of puffball spores at any moment, they’ve decided to question Daniels’ veracity.

Crimini!

Okay, I’ve heard quite enough now.

Please pass the death caps. And mush.

***

Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.