“We get it. Men are overly emotional. Just look at Alex Jones and Donald Trump. Ok, don’t. But the point stands. Your reaction to a perceived threat of the Penis Legislation Act being overturned is overwrought and hysterical.
Yes, female politicians have been promising to overturn the Penis Legislation Act since is was enacted. And sure, the Vice President has vowed to send the Penis Legislation Act to the “ash heap of history.” And fine, I concede that even the President has said she will overturn the Penis Legislation Act, which is so strange since she has clearly made use of it multiple times in the past.
Still. Why do men have to be so loud and disruptive? The Penis Legislation Act is established and totally safe from being overturned, even though so many powerful women keep promising to get rid of it and seem to have no compunction about taking away men’s rights over their own penises.
And while you stay silent as I explain some things (you look so pretty when you don’t talk!), we should remember that the role of government is not to control our bodies, and that rule only applies to one gender so it’s cool.
So buck up, lads! Trust women. Trust your government which was not elected by a majority of people but which should be entitled to control your penises. Trust our president who has bragged about grabbing penises. America will be great again once you lose control over your penises. And stop getting so hysterical about it. You don’t look pretty when you’re hysterical.”
Click over to McSweeneys and enjoy the whole piece.
Devorah hits it right on the