No Russians. No Collusion. No Russians. No Collusion. No Russians. No Collusion.
Since the day that Robert Mueller was appointed, this has been the Tantric meditative chant for Trump and his nitwit cabal. Geico used to run ads with the catch phrase, “So simple, even a caveman can do it.” With this pack of nitwits it's “So stupid, even a Trump supporter can get it.” Even when Mueller would branch off into something else, like Comey's firing and possible obstruction of justice, or Michael Cohen and Stormy Daniels, the Trump mantra never changed. No Russians. No Collusion.
But, branding the entire investigation this simplistically has one major drawback. It's the only thing Trump supporters think of in regards to the investigation. So now, in trying to deal with the double debacle on Tuesday, Trump and his allies are being forced to find a way to use it to protect Trump from the new assault brought on by the Manafort and Cohen convictions. When you have an opponent back on the ropes, stunned, you never back off and let him clear his head, you throw the kitchen sink and go for the knockout. That's exactly what the Democrats should do right now. After 36 hours back on their heels, the GOP has settled on its bumper sticker defense And it's simple enough to set in the Sakrete minds of Trump supporters like initials scratched with a stick with a little heart around them.
“Paul Manaforts conviction and Michael Cohen's guilty plea have nothing to do with Donald Trump, because there's nothing in them about Russians, and there's nothing about collusion.” That's the new defense. It's an absolute lie, and because of its simplicity, it's absurdly easy for the Democrats to turn around and hit the Republicans over the head with,. And the true beauty is that the Democrats can do it in such a way that they use the GOP's past words against them, rubbing their nose in it like a puppy that missed the paper. Redefining the narrative goes something like this;
Ladies and gentlemen, the Republicans, from Donald Trump to Rudy Giuliani, to Sean Hannity, to the GOP's Keystone Kongress, are trying to sell you on the idea that Manafort's conviction, and Michael Cohen's guilty plea have no affect on President Trump because there are no Russians involved, and there is no collusion involved. Not only is this a total crock that flies in the face of logic, but when they tell you this, they are going against a generation of bedrock Republican principle.
For the past 20 years, the GOP's relationship with Bill Clinton has basically been the same as the relationship between Robert DeNiro and Jodie Foster in “Taxi Driver.” A self destructive obsession. To this day, when a Republican reminisces on the impeachment of Bill Clinton, a warm glow descends over them, and a satisfaction greater than recalling their first kiss. It was their finest hour. But, when the Republicans tell you that Manafort and Cohen mean nothing, because there was “No Russia, no collusion,” they are willfully ignoring the entire history of the Clinton impeachment.
Because, the initial impeachment investigation of William Jefferson Clinton had jack shit to do with Monica Lewinsky. The Special Prosecutor was originally charged with investigating possible criminal involvement by the Clinton's in a failed real estate development deal in which they were partners, called Whitewater. But, while the prosecutor fond no criminal behavior by the Clinton's in Whitewater, he did stumble across a blue dress with pecker tracks on it in Monica Lewinsky's closet, and Giddyap!, the Republicans were off and running in the Impeachment Stakes.
My fellow Americans, the Republicans can't have it both ways. Out of one side of their face, they can't spend 20 years telling you that while Bill Clinton may not have been a filthy real estate swindler, he still deserved to be impeached and removed from office because, like, “Icky Clinton Sex! EWWW!”, and then, from the other side of their face, tell you that it is totally irrelevant that Donald Trump is now an unindicted co-conspirator, accused of a criminal conspiracy to defraud the United States by illegal influence on a federal election, because, “No Russians. No Collusion.” And even that's a lie, because we do have collusion, up the ass. Because, from where I'm sitting, this whole Trump-Cohen-Pecker conspiracy to affect an election by silencing female adult models is starting to look a whole lot like a sticky blue dress in a closet. How 'bout you?
The wait is over! Volume two of the trilogy, President Evil II: A Clodwork Orange is now available. Amazon is whining about me crashing their site, but the hell with them, I ain't in this for their health. You can also find volume one, President Evil as well. And fear not, work on volume three is just beginning.
Cross posted on Politizoom.com