Guess what Fox News led its latest broadcast with (hint: not Cohen or Manafort)

The bad news has come so fast and furious for Donald Trump in the past couple of hours, you could write an entire “We Didn’t Start the Fire” parody based on just what’s happened today

This is like police-carting-bodies-out-of-Jeff-Dahmer’s-apartment kind of stuff — that is, if two of those bodies had been bigfoot and Amelia Earhart.

So you can’t really ignore it, can you? Unless you’re North Korean state TV or CBN or something. Right?

Well, take a gander at this:

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I mean, come on. That’s a legitimate story, but unless there’s video of her being forced into the back of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Subaru by Gray aliens, I think you gotta lead with the item that embarrasses the Republican this time. Right?

Just my 2 cents.

Anyway, enjoy the shitshow. What a lovely, lovely day, huh?

BONUS TWEET:

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No kidding. What do you think he’ll do? Challenge Mueller to pistols at dawn? Bite the head off a bat? Trump may be royally fucking over soybean and pea farmers, but popcorn growers have to be making money hand over fist.

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Yo! Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing is now available at Amazon! Buy there (or at one of the other fine online retailers carrying it), or be square.