Something makes absolutely NO sense about this Michael Cohen situation.

OK, I'll admit it, I'm a dumbass. But, be that as it may, I just don't get it. Don't get me wrong, There's nothing I love more than hearing Trump on tape, sounding like an even bigger dumbass than I am when he asks “What payment?” to Michael Cohen, forcing him to inform His Lowness that Karen McDougle isn't going to take $150,000 in food stamps for her silence, and neither is David Pecker, and hearing Trump offer cash as the preferred payment method. And nothing warms the cockles of my heart like the mental image of Donnie Redux getting perp walked for lying to congress and the FBI about telling his ld man about the Trump Tower meeting.

But this entire sequence of events makes absolutely no sense at all. The only thing that makes any kind of sense is the timing. These leaks only began occurring after the special master was appointed to determine which evidence seized in the FBI's searches of Cohen's house, hotel room, office, and safe deposit box were protected by attorney-client privilege, and which were subject to prosecution perusal and use. Which conveniently meant that Trump's lawyers gained access to any evidence involving Trump, so that they could determine for themselves whether or not to claim attorney-client privilege on those items.

Since the commencement of the leaks, starting with the leaking of the Cohen tape discussing the payoff of Karen McFougle with Trump, and piling on with the contention that Cohen is ready to tell Robert Mueller that he heard Baby Donnie tell Baby Donnie Sr about the Trump Tower meeting, there have been two accepted schools of thought on the sourcing. Either Michael Cohen was leaking this information as a warning shot across Trump's bow, or Team Trump was leaking this information, to proactively spin the information, as well as to steal Cohen's thunder with prosecutors to cut a deal. The only problem is that neither one of these theories make any fucking sense!

Let's take Michael Cohen first. If Cohen is trying to shyly show Mueller his g-string, hoping for a $100 bill in the strap, he's not going to do that from the stage, he's going to do it at the dark table in the corner. Giving the information to CNN is like me buying you an engagement ring, and then secretly showing it to your coworkers while you're in the bathroom at the office. It's pretty well guaranteed to ruin the surprise on Christmas morning. besides, if Cohen wanted to threaten Trump, he could have simply leaked the fact that he's weighing the idea of cooperating with the prosecution, especially Bob Mueller, without releasing any of the gory details. The effect is the same, without turning over any of his cards.

Likewise, the assertion that the Trump legal team, most likely that slobbering dotard Rudy Ghouliani, is releasing the information to damage Cohen's credibility and usefulness to prosecutors is also bereft of logic. It makes absolutely no sense for Rudy the Rube to admit that the tape exists, and that on it Trump pooh-poohs the idea of Cohen using cash to pay McDougle, and then release the tape, where it's clearly evident that it is Trump who says the word “cash” after Cohen explains that McDougle won't consider an act of patriotism as an acceptable form of payment. That kind of spin won't make a 33 rpm record sound any good. And all leaking to CNN about Cohen claiming that Trump knew about the Trump Tower meeting in advance does is to get the fact that there is somebody who claims to have evidence of his previous knowledge out there in public. And Ghouliani's avowal on FOX that he had spoken to Don Jr and several others who all say that Cohen is lying just confirms Cohen's story, and confirms that there are several other potential witnesses to Trump being advised of the meeting and approving it wandering around out there! How is this positive information for his client to have flying around out there? And the contention that this information leaking somehow or other makes Cohen less desirable as a witness for Mueller is absurd. Whether the information is out in the media or not is irrelevant, Mueller is still going to need somebody to testify about it in court, and that guy is Michael Cohen. Full stop. Ridiculing him on FOX is not going to change his testimony, nor influence jurors.

And how's this for a beer chaser for your shot? Trump's response to these revelations is so illogical that Mr Spock's ears would lose their points. In response to the release of the Cohen tape, Trump predictably tweeted, “What kind of a lawyer would tape a client? So sad!” Nice going numbus-nuttus. With one tweet, Trump just validated the authenticity of the tape, and in doing so, didn't even contend that the sequence was doctored, he just bitched about the tape being cut before he said “positive things.” Trump has just wiped out any hope of his lawyers arguing that the tape was palsied, and, if you look at it logically, he also verified the accuracy of the tape, he didn't contest the content. They discussed paying off either Karen McFougle, or repaying AMI for the catch-and-kill.

And last night, Betsy Woodruff at The Daily Beast broke the story that when Trump watched the story of the Cohen tape break, and heard the audio, he was apoplectic with rage, screaming about Cohen, and lobbing f-bombs all over the place. In God's name, why? If Hair Furor was going to throw a Trumper tantrum, the time for that would have been when Giuliani told him that he had listened to the audio, and what was on it, not when he was watching the coverage of the tape on the news. Are they seriously implying that Rudy G had knowledge of damaging information on Donald Trump and never even told his client about it? It's either that, or he never bothered to listen to the tape in the first place, and was totally ignorant of the contents.

See what I'm talking about? No matter what angle you look at it from, it's almost impossible to see how leaking this information benefits either one of the only two sides that would know about it. My best guess? Rudy Ghouliani has gone rogue. Trump's outrage at these leaks makes it pretty clear that this is not a coordinated legal team effort, he knows nothing about this. In his quest to dick with Michael Cohen, Rudy the Rube is leaking this information, so that he can go on FOX to defend Trump, and show him what a legal genius he is. This would also explain Trump's explosive reaction to the tape. Giuliani didn't tell him what was on there, so he cold impress him with how brilliantly he reacted on his feet when the story he leaked broke in the media. Also, this information is getting leaked to CNN, and Trump would rather die in harness than give CNN the correct time of day. But Giuliani would be happy to leak it to CNN, so that he could go on FOX and slam it as :fake news,”

And here's another guess, my last one of the day. The next member of the Trump team to run out the door screaming? Emmet Flood, Trump's real lawyer on this Russia kerfuffle. Regardless of the source of the leak, Trump and Giuliani's oafish responseMichaelCs have made it impossible for Flood to effectively represent his client. Flood has so far managed to remain out of the limelight in this circus, and I find it highly likely that he is going to want to skedaddle before any of the mud from the spinning wheels of the klown kar gets spattered all over him. And if that happens, it'll be as entertaining as hell watching Trup try to scrounge up a replace,emt. Can you imagine anything more soul satisfying than watching a couple of ass gaskets like Rudy Giuliana and Jay Sekulow try this case in court? Mueller could send a coat rack to prosecute and still win the case.

The wait is over! Volume two of the trilogy, President Evil II: A Clodwork Orange is now available. Amazon is whining about me crashing their site, but the hell with them, I ain't in this for their health. You can also find volume one, President Evil as well. And fear not, work on volume three is just beginning.

Cross posted on Politizoom.com

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