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Mich Republican grovels before his puppetmasters w/ resolution creating “Corporate Citizenship Day”

Cross-posted from Eclectablog.

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It’s no secret that Michigan Republicans are deeply in the pocket of corporations in our state. One of their first orders of business after taking control of our state government in 2010 was to pass a massive tax cut for corporations paid for by raising the taxes of over half of the residents in our state (most profoundly on the poor, of course) and cutting education spending. They have worked their asses off to privatize any government service that isn’t nailed down and to funnel as many of our tax dollars into corporate bank accounts as is humanly possible. And, every once in awhile, like a dog who is being “a good boy”, they get a little reward in the form of a campaign donation (and, later, if they are a REALLY good dog, a job as a lobbyist.)

These things we know. We don’t like it and we don’t approve of it but we accept it as the status quo when Republicans are in charge. That’s just how they roll and they seemed completely unashamed of being bought and paid for by corporate America.

But this week something happened that sinks to such depths of crass obsequiousness and abject shamelessness that even a cynical bastard like me is forced to do a spit take. Republican State Senator Mike Nofs introduced a resolution to name this past Thursday, April 12th, 2018 “Corporate Citizenship Day”.

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Seriously, I’m not kidding:

Senate Resolution No. 149.
A resolution to declare April 12, 2018, as Corporate Citizenship Day.

Whereas, Michigan corporations are recognized around the globe as business leaders in food, manufacturing, energy, agriculture, technology, and many others; and

Whereas, Corporations have been doing business as responsible citizens in the state of Michigan and around the world; and

Whereas, Michigan corporations employ hundreds of thousands of citizens in our great state and have committed to building a better future for the communities in which they operate; and

Whereas, Corporations demonstrate ongoing commitment to improving the lives of individuals through food, agriculture, and technology; and

Whereas, Michigan corporations are committed to having a diverse and inclusive workforce that represents consumers around the world; and

Whereas, Corporations purchase goods and services from a wide range of suppliers, including women and minority-owned, stimulating business across the state of Michigan and the world; and

Whereas, Independent organizations around the world assess and recognize these companies for their progress in protecting and nurturing the environment, operating with integrity, and creating great places to work; and

Whereas, Michigan corporations should be encouraged to integrate corporate citizenship into their business models; and

Whereas, The state of Michigan wishes to celebrate the good deeds of our corporate citizens; now, therefore, be it

Resolved by the Senate, That the members of this legislative body declare April 12, 2018, as Corporate Citizenship Day; and be it further

Resolved, That we commend our corporate constituents for their dedication to improving the lives of Michiganders on this special day.

“Protecting and nurturing the environment.” LOL. As if.

Look, I don’t hate all corporations. The multinational corporation that I work for is amazing. They treat their employees well. They care about the environment. They work hard to improve the community they operate in. For all of this, they are rewarded every single day with ever-growing profits. What they don’t need is to be fluffed by Republicans in the state legislature for doing the very basic things required to be a good member of their community. That’s the baseline from which ALL corporations should operate and they don’t deserve a gold star, a tasty dog treat, or a “special day” for doing it. Frankly, it’s the least they can do considering that the rest of us pay for the infrastructure that allows them to operate their profitable business.

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Michigan Republicans have already cut corporations’ taxes and kneecapped their workers by turning the birthplace of the modern labor movement into a Right to Work state to make it ever-harder for workers to bargaining collectively. Passing a resolution like this almost seems like Republican legislator version of the dog who is humiliated by being made to balance a dog bone on its nose while the owner laughs and laughs.

Thankfully the resolution died in committee. Sen. Nofs couldn’t seem to find enough other Republicans to debase themselves quite this far.

And, given the state of affairs in this disgustingly gerrymandered state, that is probably the best we can hope for.

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For now.

[CC image credit: DonkeyHotey | Flickr]

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