Are you ashamed to be seen with your healthcare bill? Do you fear facing your own constituents? Are you plagued by feelings of dread and mild nausea at the thought of disappointing your seething supporters, angry activists and demanding donors?
That’s where Trumpcara comes in. Brought to you by the good people of GOPLabs®, Trumpcara keeps your IBS at bay. With one simple vote, you can calm the outbreak of red rage and make your pain and discomfort—and insurance for 23 million Americans—disappear!
As for everyone else, ask your Senator if Trumpcara is right for you. Trumpcara (appallinghealthcareinamerica) legislation isn’t recommended for anyone under the age of 64. Trumpcara can cause serious side effects, including:
- The loss of coverage for three million children under the age of 18, 6.4 million young adults ages 18 to 29, 8.2 million people ages 30 to 49 and 5.1 million older Americans in the reliably Republican 50- to 64-year-old age range.
- Between 21,000 and 50,000 needless deaths due to uninsurance very year.
- Mild to severe cashectomies and even financial ruin, as insufficient, age-based tax credits that grow too slowly make insurance premiums unaffordable for older, sicker and less affluent Americans.
- Conditions like “empty pocket disorder” and deductitis, as the end of the Affordable Care Act’s cost-sharing reductions and essential new surcharges or disqualification to do pre-existing conditions saddle families with massive new expenses.
- “Collateral closures” of rural hospitals and clinics as the gutting of Medicaid puts the onus for covering 51 million uninsured on cash-strapped states.
- Degenerative employer-provided insurance, as terminated Obamacare healthcare benefits bring back the worst excesses of the insurance industry including annual and lifetime caps on benefits.
- “Red state blowback,” a tragically ironic affliction of voters in states carried by Donald Trump, states with higher percentages of people of pre-existing conditions and fewer choices of insurers.
Upward income redistribution caused by an $800 billion injection administered by the U.S. Treasury to the wealthiest people in America, a process doctors call “enrichening.”