WEASELS ON PARADE, EDITION #1, NOVEMBER 2011

 
 

WEASELS ON PARADE, EDITION #1, NOVEMBER 2011

 

Once again, it’s time to play WEASELS ON PARADE! (le sigh) So many, MANY weasels, so little time. So, without further ado, I give you this month’s first set of weasels.

WEASEL(S) OF THE WEEK #1: The Congressional “Super Committee. I can’t understand why anybody thought that this particular piece of bipartisan chuckle-headedness was a good idea. The Dems are trying, the RePubs/ReThugs are doing their best “NO” imitation, and nothing is going to get done before the deadline. On Aug. 2 of this year, with the nation on the brink of its first-ever default on the national debt, the option of punting the tough decisions to a “super committee” with a fixed deadline sure sounded like a good way out. But now, just eight days out, many lawmakers are signaling buyers’ remorse. Maybe they should have listened to former Senator Alan Simpson and former Clinton chief of staff Erskine Bowles. At least, those two fellas had good ideas.

WEASEL OF THE WEEK #2: Gloria “My husband respects women” Cain. It’s a given that any time a candidate or an electee gets caught in a lie, or gets into serious public  trouble for something that he did in the past, said candidate/electee does serious photo-ops with his wife. David Vitter comes to mind, as does Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Clarence Thomas, and a host of others whose names escape me now. After all, how CAN the family values crowd explain away the whores that they’ve been caught with, the mistresses that they’ve (supposedly) paid off in return for silence, or the women that they’ve harassed and mistreated in the past? Why, by hiding behind the “little woman”, of course, who is publicly humiliated but who STILL stands by her man?

WEASEL OF THE WEEK, #3: Newt “WHAT Tiffany’s bill?” Gingrich. He’s a proven, public liar, and now he’s proved yet again that he’s a bully in public. This is the man who dumped wife #1 for a trophy wife, who divorced wife #2 when she was recovering from cancer surgery, who publicly excoriated President Clinton for having an affair while he was doing the same thing (at least he’s stayed married to this one, not that that’s something to brag about), who has stated publicly that anybody that took money from Freddie Mae and Fannie Mac ought to return said money, all the while that he was lobbying FOR Freddie Mac (to the tune of 1.6 million) over an 8 year period, and who is more of a weathervane even than Mitt Romney. I’ll give him credit for his intellectual firepower and that has great appeal to Republican voters looking for a "fighting conservative" who can stand up to Barack Obama, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go. He’s a jerk and a bully, and he’s proven that numerous times over the last 20 years.

WEASELS OF THE MONTH, #1: It’s a TWOFER, gangers! The Super Committee! See WEASEL(S) #1.

WEASEL OF THE MONTH, #2:  

District Judge Leslie Dutchot, who oversaw the bail hearing for Jerry Sandusky. Prosecutors from the state attorney general’s office had asked judge Dutchcot to impos a bail of 500K and require the 67 year olf accused pedophile to wear an ankle bracelet during the Novermber 4th arraignment. Judge Dutchcot, who is a former Monroe County assistant district attorney, didn’t do that; she instead gave him a 100K unsecured bail and did not require the monitoring Funniest DARN thing: With that low a bail, Mr. Sandusky didn’t have to put up a penny, just promise to appear – and then he walked out. What's worse is that she has a personal connection to Mr. Sandusky, and should have recused herself. The general standard for recusal deals with the following requirement: if you have such a close relationship with someone that you could not be fair, you should recuse yourself. Judge Dutchot volunteered with Sandusky’s charity, and apparently was very fond of Mr. Sandusky. If that’s not a good reason to recuse yourself, I don’t know what WOULD be. Maybe like Supreme Court Judge Clarence Thomas and his wife?

WEASELS OF THE YEAR: All of the Penn State officials, from Mike McQueary to Joe Paterno, to Tim Curley, Gary Schultz and Graham Spanier, who either knew or suspected that Jerry Sandusky was at the very least bullying little boys and at the very worst physically and sexually abusing them. All of these contemptible specimens of so-called men could have done something to stop this monster – and they did nothing. With the exception of Mr. McQueary, all of them have lost their jobs, and it damned well serves them right.

Gonna be an interesting year in politics, no? Who’s left to be the next flavour of the month in the GOP Presidential field? H’mmmm . . . nope, Rick Santorum won’t make it. Probably Dr. Ron Paul.  ‘Course, that’s the truly insane leading the mostly insane.

What WOULD we all do for laughs without the GOP?

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