SIC SEMPTER COCKSMANUS STUPIDUS - (AN OBITUARY)

 
 

SIC SEMPTER COCKSMANUS STUPIDUS - (AN OBITUARY)

   Well, it’s finally over. Herman Cain has suspended his campaign. And, sez I, GOOD RIDDANCE. Damn it, I really liked him, too – initially. Before he went off into StupidEconomicsLand, and StupidRepublicanPissedAtTheWorldLand, that is.

Where is it written that all Republican candidates MUST be either religious bigots or reverse social engineers? Apparently, if a Republican candidate has either a modicum of common sense, or a smidgen of compassion, if he can actually see merit in both sides’ positions and is willing to compromise even just a TINY bit, he’s immediately run up the flagpole nekkid and bloody. If the candidate doesn’t espouse getting rid of any and every program that actually WORKS, such as Social Security and Medicare, he’s immediately excoriated as being someone that just doesn’t understand how the country has GOT to get rid of these worthless, expensive programs that don’t do any good in deficit reduction. Like the WIC program, for example, or the free school breakfasts and lunches that feed over 8 million hungry kids, or the after-school programs that actually KEEP kids out of gangs and out of other trouble.

So, Herman Cain is gone. Big-idea man, larger-than-life gesticulator, and lying, sneaking would-be cocksman. I won’t go into the allegations of sexual harassment other than to say this: Claims of this nature are very thoroughly investigated, and NO monies are ever paid out on an unsupported claim. There were 5 accusers, from his days at the Restaurant Association, and 2 of them were paid off in cash; the other 3 were dismissed, but the association made sure that they all went to well-paying jobs elsewhere, with terrific recommendations. OH, but GOSH: Herman Cain never, EVER did anything that would spark this sort of reaction from these women. No SIRREE, he sure wouldn’t. COW POOP.

I’m betting that Mrs. Cain knew all about this, as well. It’s a very well-known and well-documented fact that folks, mostly men, that simply cannot keep their pants zipped always go home and tearfully confess their sins to their significant others. Mostly, they are forgiven, and go back out and cheerfully, even gleefully, commit the same sins that they have sworn they will never, EVER commit again. NEVER NEVER NEVER again, they say, and they might actually believe that they won’t do it – but they nearly always do.

This last allegation of complete and total infidelity really floored me. I mean, we all should have expected it, but nobody did. Ms. White’s just a friend that he helped financially from time to time but never had a physical relationship with, FAUGH. When he’s paying her rent, paying her car note, taking her places, and always hiding her from public view? C’MON, gangers! That’s so much cow poop.

Mr. Cain has denied the accusations, needless to say, as well as the story from Ms. White, a 46-year-old mother of two who told Fox 5 News in Atlanta that she met Cain in Louisville. She said they began a “casual” affair and she produced records showing dozens of phone calls and text messages to and from Cain’s cell phone. In the Union Leader interview, Mr. Cain acknowledged that he met Ms. White at a conference in Louisville years ago. He said he had merely been helping a “friend” when he provided her with financial assistance. He did not disclose how much money he gave White, on the advice of his attorney. He said his recent correspondence with White revolved around her requests for money. He said White told him “that quite frankly, I was the only person who was a friend at the time - and I underscore ‘friend’ - that was in a position to help her.” Mr. Cain has been known to help friends and relatives financially, said Maurice Atkinson, a friend and founder of DraftCain.org. He said he knows of a family member of Mr. Cain’s whom the candidate is assisting with house and car payments.

I do believe that I hear a rooster crowing, don’t you?

Well, folks, I don’t know about y’all, but there’s a really, REALLY big difference between helping out a family member, and throwing money at a woman that you are neither married to nor related to – unless there’s a darker and nastier reason. Like, say, she’s a girlfriend that you’re supporting. Mr. Cain said his wife did not know about his relationship with or payments to White until they became public this week. Again, COW POOP. That statement doesn’t pass the smell test. Regardless of what the two of them say, Mrs. Cain knew. Whether she chose to acknowledge it or not is another story, and one that we’ll probably never know the ins and outs of. I’m content with NOT knowing, thankyouverymuch.

Just remember this: When a pol is caught in a lie that can be proven to BE a lie, the first thing that he (and yes, it’s usually a man, at least 99.9% of the time) does is trot out the “little woman” to “stand by her man” in public. Never mind that she’s been humiliated down to her bare bones, appearances MUST be preserved. Until, that is, the furor dies down a bit, and a quiet divorce can be arranged.

nein, NEIN, NEIN, anybody?

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