|Meditations on Fred, August 2014
PREDICTION: This is going to end very tragically. We'll just leave it at that.
3. Quote of the Ages:
"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free....it expects what never was and never will be."
Kiss this country goodbye.
|Yeah, extreme right|
4. Mallard Fillmore:
I don't know the name of the nitwit who writes the Mallard Fillmore comic strip (Tim Something-or-other) This much, however, is beyond certainty: Charles Schultz he ain't. But I make it a point never to miss his daily masterpiece of mediocrity and misinformation. In fact there have been times when Mallard is the first thing I turn to when I open the paper. Every morning, in a state of barely restrained glee, I'll find myself asking, sometimes aloud, "What moronic thing is this knucklehead going to puke up today for my amusement?" He never fails to deliver the goods - or almost never. Once, about four-or-five years ago, he actually made a point that I thought quite valid. I was in a semi state of shock for the rest of the day. Seriously.
The person who writes Mallard Fillmore is not only a racist (his tirades against blacks are a weekly delight) he's also an anti-Semite - worst than any seen in print in a very long time. His caricatures of Jews are about as blatantly stereotypical as anything put out by the propagandists of the Third Reich eighty years ago. If he's ever given the brush by my local paper, I won't lose any sleep over it; But if he's here to stay that's okay, too. Right wing lunacy can be quite entertaining. Mallard Fillmore is very much so.
I think of it as the Three's Company of comic strips: so mind-numbingly bad it's actually amusing.
5. Cruz Control
Ted Cruz made a minor tremor the other day at something called the Value Voters Summit when he referred to the Democrats as an "extreme, radical party". Really? At a time when a extreme change in the course in our national affairs is radically needed, I can only say that if the Dems were one/quarter as extreme and as radical as old Ted implies I would still be one.
The senator from Texas is a satirist's delight. I hope he never goes away. He's the gift that keeps giving and giving.
Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts is the best thing to happen to progressive politics in this country since Eleanor Roosevelt - and there is a growing choir rising from her natural constituency that is not only singing her praises, they are urging her - begging her - to seek the Democratic nomination for the presidency in two years. It's a grand idea - sort of.
I'm of two minds about this: Yeah, I would love to see this woman as the standard bearer in 2016, Hillary Clinton, at present the presumed nominee, leaves me cold. Although Senator Warren's chances for living in the White House if nominated are not as sure as Ms. Clinton's, it's not the impossible dream that many people believe it to be. The problem she would have as president (and it's the same one that Barack Obama has encountered) is the obstructionism of the Republican party. This country is only going to be saved if the American people take a decided turn to the left. That's not going to happen any time soon, kids.
7. Texas Secession:
There is a movement now underway in Texas that would have that state secede from the union. This is where I let out a sigh of complete exasperation.
I don't think Texas independence is a particularly good idea for its citizens. This needs to be emphasized to these people as aggressively as possible because, let's face it, most Texans (or at least the ones who vote) don't know what's good for them. Just look at the collection of chuckleheads they keep sending to Washington and Austin! You know what I'm talking about?
In fact, secession is a perfectly hideous idea. It would take less than a year for its residents to realize that seceding from the union was a dreadful mistake. Without U.S. taxpayers keeping them afloat, the Lone Star State would have imploded decades ago. But if Texas insists on secession, fine. Let them go. Good bye and good riddance.
For one-hundred and fifty years this country has had to twist itself into semantic pretzels making excuses to the rest of the planet for the idiocy of that place. And if secession is really the road they want to go down, I propose that we erect a wall to keep out the tsunami of refugees that will surely be flooding our border in no time at all. If Texas wants to leave, then, by all means, let them leave. We certainly shouldn't come to blows militarily over the matter. A civil war over Texas? It wouldn't be worth it. It's not an asset to the union; it's a national embarrassment.
Let them have the right wing paradise of their warped fantasies. It would serve the silly bastards right.
One last thought on this subject: Can you even imagine the "nation" of Texas with a nuclear weapon? Wouldn't that be a hoot? Goodness gracious me!
8. "Blessed Are The Meek" - NOT!!!
They tend to refer to these right wing Christians as "religious extremists"; but if you think about it for a minute, that term is the ultimate misnomer. If they were as extreme about Jesus as they would have us believe, they would be spreading His message in EXTREME ways, setting EXTREME examples. For instance:
If Pat Robertson was as tuned-in to Jesus as he claims he is, he would be giving all of his treasure to the poor. He isn't. In fact, he's the part owner of a diamond mine in Africa. Any profit he makes goes to Pat Robertson. That's not very extreme, is it?
If these blubbering congressmen and women from the Bible Belt were as sweet on the Prince of Peace as they say they are, they would be demanding a ninety percent tax rate for anyone making over one million dollars a year in order to eliminate poverty in America. They won't. It's all about tax cuts (and more tax cuts) to a class of people who have more money than, well, God. That's not very extreme.
The problem, according to them, is all of those nasty, dirty and lazy poor people. Why don't they just get off of their butts and get to work! That's not very extreme either. Think about it.
And a final note to the racist, anti-Semitic "Christians" out there in La La Land: Jesus was a rabbi and He was not a white man. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Hypocrisy: It's prevalent, overwhelming - and so few seem to take notice. Strange.
Honorary Member (in good standing)
of the International Jewish Conspiracy
REGARDING THE PHOTOGRAPH AT THE TOP:
|Fred Allen 1894-1956|
In Boston, on May 31, 1894, John Florence Sullivan was born. When he was a teenager he developed a juggling act for vaudeville. One day, due to an error by a booking agent, he was inadvertently billed as "Fred Allen". He liked the name so much he kept it for the rest of his life. Although he appeared in a number of films (some of them quite good) he is primarily remembered today (if he's remembered at all) as the greatest humorist who ever practiced the lost and lamented art of radio comedy. Jack Benny once said of him, "His ability to ad lib was phenomenal." That was an understatement.
Courtney Reed & Adam Jacobs
If you happen to find yourself in merrie olde Manhattan at any time in the foreseeable future you might want to check out the new musical, "Aladdin", now playing at the New Amsterdam Theater (214 West 42nd Street). I attended the show on Wednesday evening in the company of my dear friends, the Fabulous Sager Family (and Lady Nina). It was one of the funniest things I've ever had the pleasure of seeing. Afterward, we had the opportunity to meet some members of the cast including Courtney Reed (Jasmin) and Don Darryl Rivera (Iago). They were very nice people. It was a sweet evening.
To order tickets by phone call (855) 870-2717. You will laugh.