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"Douchebags everywhere in search of new pick up line -- 'I Work for the Secret Service' now subject to ridicule."
"Rupert Murdoch knew nothing. Insists staff said 'EARMUFFS, RUPERT!' when discussing hacking."
"New phrase for condescension sweeps the nation: 'If a blind man can escape from house arrest, then you can change the toilet paper roll......darling.'"
"Charles Taylor Found Guilty -- Of stealing a nation's heart. And by 'heart' we mean 'hands.'"