This is what a letter from one of the 30 Million probably looks like to his fellow rebels.
To whom it may Concerne or Patriot Revolt Leader:
I know this RSVP is late but my wife won't let me come there. I wanted to when I sent you the original RSVP on Facebook, that I would be there takin down that Obama and his commie
gubment but the wife threatned to leave when I got back from the revolution. I can't cook. This is a problem. My wife also takes care of the money so she won't let me have no money to come. She also threatned to sell my shotgun., Now, some of you guys might can handle the revolution but I can't be off fighting for my country and fight my wife too. See, I get my check on the first and it looked good but it goes in direct deposit and she didn't give two cents about this revolt we wuz having, She paid the rent and went to Bed and Bath. I can't find the guns. I think she even likes that Wendy Davis so I got some big trouble at home.
Now I know you fellas and gals will do just fine without me. I was all revved up about this war on Obama but I gotta tell you..he must have some magic powers cuz I ain't ever seen the wife so mad, It was like she was bewitched or something. Like some kind of witch doctor had cast a spell on her. ( You know he is from Kenya and some even say he is the antichrist). It has got so bad that I think I heard that Rachel woman on the tv the other night when I came in from getting a six pack. I didn't actually see that short haired commie but I got me a strong feeling the wife is
being brainwashed. She used to want a revolution. Course, she is working two jobs and tending to the grandkids so she might be a bit tired. We ain't gettin no Obamacare though. You can count on me for that. I am as patriotic as I ever was. I just can't take off and fight the gubment with no money and no gun.
I hope you understand. Ya'll said Ted was gonna play at the revolt but I caught his act at Bundy's and he is my hero and all but I like country better than all that loud Cat Scratchin stuff.
Well I hope to see ya'll at the next rising and hope you run off that Obama and his bunch but be careful..they are watching us you know. The wife is laughing as I write this letter because she says the NSA knows everything we do and she needs the leak under the sink fixed so quit playing out my younger dreams of being a rebel and help her out. Hey I know Sara Palin is a fine looking chic but she don't live here and she don't have to put up with all these kids and bills, so ya'll just go on without me.. I will tune in to Fox and Rush and ya'll think of me as you stomp the dickens out of the big gubment and know I am with ya in spirit. After all I am just one patriot. Ya'll will have plenty to cover ya backs. I am sorry I can't be there but you understand and besides I heard it was gonna rain. I got me this bad pain that comes and goes in my leg so that is not good either, but I would be there if things were a little different. My back went out yesterday and the wife is nagging so this is a lot of trouble for one guy from Texas.
I am as big a patriot as anyone of you that show up for the revolution but I think we need more ways to communicate than Facebook cuz my puter crashed yesterday and I know the gubment did it. Gave me some Trojan or sumethin. That is the only kind of Trojan I have seen since all this talk about revolution has started by the way. A man is a man you know. The wife ain't been too un headachy lately. You can count on me next time... I am gonna get the wife straight and cut the cable to the house. I'll go into town and catch Fox at the Holler head watering hole. Sorry I am missing all the fun.
Well God Bless and God Bless America.
militia Troop 4566